idrk what i have
so abt 2ish years ago in january 2019 i started a starvation diet where id barely eat anything it started as a joke then i became obsessed i never realized i had a problem until i was telling my best friend abt the diet and how i can’t eat anything and almost started crying my whole life tho i was pretty obsessed with my weight i was always looking up “how to loose 20 lbs” or “workouts to get abs” since like 3rd grade i would try so many things even if i was already skinny and i was more obsessed with the number on the scale and not the way i look i’ve gotten better but i still find myself wanting to starve myself to be skinnier and lots of times i binge at night and eat anything in sight so it’ll go like binging starving binging starving and i feel like i have an ed but sometimes i think do i just want attention ugh idk
@amyaebony if it happens when you're by yourself and you're not constantly telling it to people, it's likely not for attention, you know? Now on the other hand, I might suggest that you do talk about it with some people, if you feel comfortable. If you're worried you might have an eating disorder (which, both a binging and restricting cycle could fit into), then it might be helpful to talk to a professional about it. Even if you don't feel it's "that bad", I think anyone could benefit from extra support :P
i do wanna talk to a professional like rlly bad but it’s just i can’t find one , zoom i don’t feel comfortable bc my parents r sitting in the house with me listening and there is no sit down therapists rn where i live bc of covid and i’m trying to look for online ones but it’s hard
@amyaebony ah I know how that feels, I'm also too nervous to talk about personal things out loud if my family is around, which is tough right now since many people are pretty much stuck inside! Do your parents know about it much or no? They might be able to help look for someone online. And, if they are aware, you might also be able to ask them to go outside for a bit while you speak to someone online, for a bit of privacy. Depending where you live, there might be some databases of therapists online, such as psychologytoday, where you can search by topic (this of course isn't free...but most professional services won't be, unfortunately). You might also be able to talk to just a regular doctor, walk in clinics might be open for in-person in some places. Or, if you have a cell phone, there might be help lines/services you could call, maybe while going for a walk. It can be tough to find the right supports, especially now with all the limits :( but there's always help out there, even if it takes some effort to find :)