Spring Break Blues
I was fortunate enough for my family to fly me out to California to visit them over spring break, but instead of relaxing and having fun with them all I can think about is food--how much I am eating, how much the food weighs, how much I am liquid I'm drinking, how long I'll need to exercise to burn off those calories, and how much I weigh. It's exhausting.
I hate how much this disorder controls my life but I'm scared to change. I don't want to become obese again. Even though I still feel fat most of the time, I don't feel obese anymore. Is that progress or is it just my mind saying my disorder is working?
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
@coffeelover1218 First hugggggggg! I can see how much this disorder frustrates you, and I am so sorry. Sometimes i get mad when I need help with everything pretty much. I'm not trying to down play your feelings, in fact I'd love to help. First learning to love all of who we are is NOT an easy task. To act that it is only makes accepting that much harder, you can't let your past dictate who you are right at this moment. To fear any part of who you were holds you back from right now. Don't focus on what should or could be. When you wake up, make a plan for that day only, including meals. You have to tell your brain. "I'll eat at x time and end at x time." If need be set 15 min reminders. Eat what you love, but maybe put Duck Tap over the fact chart for a month.
Hug,
Donald
@coffeelover1218 PM me if you need to.
