May have ED...don't wanna self-diagnose
For the past 6 months I've had a rocky relationship with food. I realised I had a way to expel the fat, bloated, fullness after eating which I always hated. Then I started binging as a coping mechanism to forget about troubling thoughts and purged after. Although people have always told me I am skinny, I didn't believe them bc of what I saw in the mirror and how my body was 'supposed' to look. My brother also makes regular comments when I eat junk food like 'don't eat too much _insert food_ you'll get fatter', whereas the rest of my family says I'm skinny, but I believed what he said was true. At this point I was obsessively restricting and counting calories, beginning a rigid excersise routine, measuring/weighing myself regularly and binging and purging (vomiting and excersising) the exact amount of 'bad' or junk food I binged. I would also fast the next day, only eating with my family. Now I am trying to eat breakfast and healthy snacks throughout the day so I don't feel hungry enough later to binge. However, I feel like my body has lost the signal to tell me when I'm full. When I'm alone and hungry or have an intense craving I can only distact myself for so long. Then I have the uncontrollable urge to eat and once I start it feels impossible to stop until I feel sick and once again purge. I am a night owl so the the urges are stronger the later I stay up (from 1am). Lately this has been every night and I don't know how to stop. I don't count calories anymore or starve myself bc that will lead to more binging, but I really just want to get my life back on track. It feels like the same night on replay. It has become an addiction and I don't know where to begin.
@charmingPlace950 Hello there! I have read your post and it sounds very similar to what I've experineced in the past. I also know a bit of what your are experiencing since I've been there too. I struggled with that and I got through it with the help of my family and medical advisers. Don't be intimidated by your feelings. Although I can't give advice, I strongly suggest you to talk to your parents or seek medical attention. There will be people willing to help you without shame involved. You will find a light. I know you will, too. There is hope. Stay strong and have a wonderful day 
Just for your information: National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 available 24/7.
Thankyou for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it. That makes me feel much better knowing someone else understands a little of what I'm going through. I started talking to a listener on here who has experience with eating disorders and he's been really helpful. I am going to follow his advice and replace my bad habits with healthier ones. Right now it's easier to talk to people online, who understands my issues rather than than irl. I want to tell my family and friends eventually, but I don't want to hurt them and I don't know how to make them understand what I've experienced. Yeah, I know I can get through this because I have gotten out of other dark places before, it just feels harder in the moment. Does the helpline work worldwide? I am in the UAE (Middle East). Thankyou so much, you have an amazing day as well! 😊