I don't know what to do
I just want to tell someone real. someone who cares about me whome i know in real life. i want them to tell me its all going to be okay and that they can fix me.
I want to talk to someone and tell them that everytime i eat i feel like a failure. That every bite is so filled with so much shame and discust with myself. All i can think about is how discusting i am and even after ive thrown it up i just feel ashamed that i left myself eat it. that i havent been abel to get it all out that its still in me. I want them to know that sometimes I bindge to stop myself cutting to end the pain that i dont understand. I want someone to help me carry the pain thats how selfish i am. i just want it to all stop. i want my life back.
@Hope2comem Soooo much to say to this!
First of all... I totally get it. And let me get the hard/depressing part out of the way: You want to tell someone who basically is going to react LIKE you while being NOT you. They can't "save you" The only one who can save you is yourself. I'm terrible at this right now so I don't mean to be hypocritical, but you need to want this and be willing to fight for it for yourself to truly make it through.
On the other hand... I think telling someone is a GREAT idea! Because it's really hard to get through it without any additonal support and you may be surprised in the places where you find that support! Is there a close friend of family member you may feel able to confide in? I say start small but you'll (hopefully!) be surprised at how understanding other people are.
"i want my life back" <--- Basically I was glad to see this phrase from you and told me you're willing to take the risk. It's possible many people close to you already know to some degree. Letting them in could help you get closer to this goal.
@MinorKey ily