I Feel Down After Eating when I See My Fav Idol's Pictures
I am not sure if I have eating disorders or not. But usually after I finish eating and I watch something that is related to my favourite male idols (like singers), I will start to feel regretful over my eating and I feel like I want to stop eating, and it irritates me that it somehow makes me sad seeing my idol. It is always associated with me feeling I need to change the way how I eat and how I look like (like I need to beautify myself) just because I tend to have like "jealousy" over my fav idol's beautiful appearance and I need to somehow beat down his beauty, despite me being his loyal fan. Lol, I confused myself up xD
@RynaLibra Hello, welcome to Eating Disorder Support Community! I am glad that you have reached out to here. I understand this feeling must be very confusing for you, and I want to tell your emotions with eating and after eating are valid ❤ in general how do you feel for having this feeling?
@CommunityModAlex
Hi ^^ Honestly when this kind of feeling comes to me after I eat, I will feel incredibly guilty and will blame myself for eating. And then I will force myself to do some exercises, as an 'effort' to lower down my weight, and will keep on thinking how I actually wasted my time eating. The next day after that I will have a strict rule not to eat more than once.
During this time I will also be somewhat competitive with my favourite idol like I want to beat them in a way that I either look as beautiful as them or better than them.
Or when I am eating and this feeling comes, I will stop eating because I will no longer have appetite.
But thing is I am never obsessed with my appearances or beauty. Like I dont wear special cosmetic products and I just go out with my bare face. I wonder why I tend to be like this
