Have you told anyone?
Have you told anyone about your ed? If so how'd it go?
I told my girlfriend and my best friend. They both said they wanted to help, but they both get uncomfortable when I try to talk about it or update them.
@mags7121
I'm in recovery now, but I've had several stages of telling people, and it's always scary, but usually positive in the end.
Initially, there was telling people to get support. Some people were more ready to give support than others, but in general, I found I often had to tell them what I needed or how they could support me because they just didn't know on their own. I think the more they learned independently, the more they were able to support, as well.
Then there was telling people I was working on recovery. That was for a variety of reasons, but often to take away my excuses and force some more accountability or to explain to people what was going on. This was a little easier than initially reaching out for help, but still pretty terrifying.
Now when I tell people, it's more talking about what I have struggled with in the past (though there are, of course, times that I still struggle some). It's a different type of conversation, but one I think is really important. For those close to me, it helps them understand me better and helps me have guardrails when I need them. For others, I've found that opening up about my struggle has given them a safe space to open up about things they are going through, and that's been a really powerful thing.
So while it's always hard and scary, it does get easier the more you do it, and even if your girlfriend and friend are struggling to support you how you need, I think telling them was still a really big and important step.
I've told my best friend.She made me realize how serious my ed was. She always listened to me, but now I find it really hard to talk to her. I haven't told anyone else because I'm too scared.
@courageousYard2876 - What do you think makes it hard to talk to her now when you were able to before? Has something changed? If not with her, it sounds like you could still use someone to talk to. It's definitely scary to reach out to someone, but it seems like it went well the first time - do you think the reaction might be similar from someone else?
@Anomalia I feel that its unfair for me to keep bothering her with my problems, especially when she has problems of her own. I don't think the other people in my life would be willing to listen and they wouldn't believe me even if I told them.
@courageousYard2876 - If she wanted to talk to you about her problems, would you think it was unfair? Or would you want to support her because she is your friend?
I have no idea how to even go about telling someone. It's hard to just blurt it out to someone close because a conversation like that almost never comes up.
@YellowSunshine6 - It's definitely hard to tell someone, but there are a lot of ways you can approach it.
- You can ask if they have time to talk about something fairly serious and then bring it up, even if it feels out of the blue
- You can write a letter or an email explaining and leave it for them to read so that you don't have to confront it in the moment
- You can wait for the next time they ask "How are you?" and then be really honest.
- You can start to skirt around the issue in one on one conversations by referencing things that they might pick up on (this runs the risk of them not picking up on it, but if you can't be totally open right away, sometimes it's the best bet).
Hope that helps!
