Food is evil
I hate food. I hate food because I love it. I hate that I love it. I will forever wish I could be the person to look at a cheeseburger or nachos or cheesecake or brownies and say "ew that looks gross!" and mean it! I wish I could be the person who stops eating when they're full. I wish I could be the person who doesn't constantly crave food and think about food. I wish I could be the person that looks at frosting and imagines the fat sticking to their thighs if they eat it. I wish I could be the person that could drive past 5 fast food restaurants on the way home without even thinking about stopping for something. I wish I could be the person who wants something, and then dismisses that desire instead of fulfilling it. I wish I could be that person who spends their time and money on things that really matter instead of evil food. I love it, and I hate that. I want to ignore food; I want to forget about it. I want my life back.
I hate myself, I can't even look in the mirror without feel disgust. i look grotesque.
I don't have any words of wisdom for you, unfortunately. But, I can say you're not alone. I could have written that myself, every word of it.
i know exactly how you feel, food becomes my comfort blanket. it's easy to turn to it coz its everywhere.
I often snack all day for no apparent reason. "Eat because I'm bored" happens a lot haha
I understand how you feel, andIwant you to know that you are not alone in your struggle.
At many times,preoccupation with food is nothing but a distraction from another aspect of your life or self that you are not happy about. Sometimes,feeling like you have lost control over your life andthings in it causesyou to try to regain a sense of control by managing other things, such as your weight.There are many reasons why people develop eating disorders. The good news is that recovery is truly possibleeven though it doesn't feel like it is. Reach out to your friends and family, and try to talk to a mental health specialist regarding these issues.
Stay strong and hold on. Above all, never lose hope.
FOOD is my frienemy...they are my best friend when I feel alone and wanting to hide from the world and yet they are my worst enemy when I'm out and feeling alive....why does my mind and body do this to...its torture!!!
Hi there! I know it's hard and it only gets harder when you actually realise that you might be having some sort of problem, but it has to get hard before it gets better. Or at least that's what people say. There is no quick fix for this issue, and I really hoped for many years that it could be, but the only fix is your own motivation. You can do whatever you set your mind on,I promise! And it will get better, it will! But be pacient. You will succeed, no matter what you want to do! If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here! Lots of love!
I love the analogy of a frenemy - that's how I feel about eating disorders in general. Mine always felt like it was helping me, protecting me, taking care of me, and comforting me, but it was really stabbing me in the back, being jealous and possessive, and trying to destroy me. The worst kind of toxic friend that just has to be cut out of your life!
I want chocolate like right now
Everytime I eat I think about everything that is in that food or meal. And how many calories are in every single bite. Then I work my ass off at the gym to make sure I don't get any fatter than I am. And to loose some. I've been struggling with this for years and I honestly don't want to change.
Terrible doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I dragged myself to the gym today mostly so I could say that I went. Then, I rewarded myself with ice cream and tons of calorie-filled Italian food. Then, shortly after, mom made chicken and macaroni salad, which I also ate even though I was plenty full. Later, the boyfriend came over with pizza and brownies, which I ate a ton of. My brother and boyfriend have both recently downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on their phones. They are fascinated with it, and were talking about it. I was full and suddenly feeling very self-conscious. One minute we were all stuffing out faces with fat carbs and now they're all like "yeah I only had 1500 calories today, that's my goal, I'm trying to lose weight". I don't know why but hearing them talk about that makes me super upset and cranky. I was acting so moody and crazy! I think it's because I used to be like that; I used to track every calorie and would only eat 1400 calories a day. I've gained some weight and I'm super self conscious about it. My bf and brother aren't that much bigger than me, so the thought of them getting smaller makes me extraaaa self conscious. Can anyone relate to this? I feel so psychotic! I can't even look at my bf because I'm ashamed/jealous/angry with myself. It's making me want to cry. I want to be how I used to be when I had self control.
@agreeableRaspberries8761 - I can definitely relate. It is hard enough to fight against your urges and work to eat a healthy, balanced, and 'normal' amount. Hearing everyone around you focus in on calories and food can be REALLY hard to deal with. If you want to talk about it more, or even just have a safe space to vent, feel free to reach out to me or to any other listener on the site. *hugs*
Summers here. Which means it is time for me to feel as ashamed of myself as humanly possible. I can't go out places because I would have to wear shorts. And there is no way I am going to show my tree trunks/cottage cheese thighs to the public. No more crop tops because of my bloated belly. No more tight tee shirts or tank tops because of my fat flabby arms. Soooo... What do I do? I can't lose all this weight overnight. Do I just sit at home like a hermit? Can I even have a summer now because I chose to not prepare myself at all for bikini season? I've been waiting to go out on cooler nights when it's somewhat socially acceptable to wear jeans. How could I be so stupid? I was so unrealistic, foolish, and selfish. If I would have started trying just a month ago, I'd be able to have a summer. But no. Now I'm too ashamed to leave my room. None of my clothes fit how they used to. I hate this feeling. I feel like I'm suffocating. I want to run for miles to burn off my cottage cheese thighs but one: I look hideous and cellulitey and flabby when I run now, and two: I probably can't jog a mile without stopping multiple times. What do I do now.
