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Eating Disorder, My Mind
InnocenceKuchiki October 11th, 2015
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Greetings, beings of all sorts, I would like to make an attempt at revealing what's on my mind at the moment. I shall do my best to explain, for it's rather complicated, and weird above all to say the least.

Recently, about 1 month ago, I chose to deprive myself of food as much as possible for around a week or so. I was mainly desiring death, attempting suicide so to speak. However, what came of this was far different, I believe I've begun to develop an eating disorder of sorts through the starvation. I will be more specific in terms of which type of disorder, it is that of anorexia nervosa. This is the odd aspect of the entire situation, so, I've done my research on the disorder, and a few days ago I thought it would be interesting to watch a documentary on it. Well, since I initially starved myself a month ago, and since I watched the documentary, I think I've become somewhat obsessed with the disorder. I don't desire any help of sorts, at all, it is as if I want to be anorexic, which to state this bluntly, I do. I am completely rational with my thinking, I am aware of what this could do to me and the people around me, I am sane. I simply hold an image in my head, not only that, I see this as a coping method for my depression, a way to deal with things so to speak, something to look forward to. There are many things contributing to the drive for me to go through with this, school being one of those things. If you would like to chat you can PM me, I don't at all mind speaking on the matter, especially if you suffer from the disorder yourself, take care.

edited by Rain45 Moved to Eating Disorders Community due to forum re-organisation

3
soulsings May 17th, 2016
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@InnocenceKuchiki I am sorry you have felt so down as to start withholding food from your body. If you want to learn more about eating disorders there is a self help guide that may be helpful. https://www.7cups.com/eating-disorder-help/

As a point of information, a member or guest does not have the ability to PM another member or guest, but they can reply to your post in forums like this. They also can follow your feed.

Listeners are happy to listen to you if you need to chat, but they are obligated by 7cups to have the member requst a chat. Hope that helps clarify what is possible on 7cups to the best of my knowledge.

bigjumpersbighearts May 26th, 2016
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@InnocenceKuchiki

i just want to tell you that you aren't alone, i know exactly what you're going through, i am too, i have developed an obsession with it eventhough i know exactly what the consequences are

just letting you know you are not the only one

johns10 June 26th, 2016
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@InnocenceKuchiki My mom and my girlfriend both have eating disorders. It is a constant battle, and we're working on it together. It's important to have people who have your back, so to speak, and will encourage you through tough times. Hope your struggle gets better. There is no recovered, only recovery. Good luck.

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