Eating Disorder, My Mind
Greetings, beings of all sorts, I would like to make an attempt at revealing what's on my mind at the moment. I shall do my best to explain, for it's rather complicated, and weird above all to say the least.
Recently, about 1 month ago, I chose to deprive myself of food as much as possible for around a week or so. I was mainly desiring death, attempting suicide so to speak. However, what came of this was far different, I believe I've begun to develop an eating disorder of sorts through the starvation. I will be more specific in terms of which type of disorder, it is that of anorexia nervosa. This is the odd aspect of the entire situation, so, I've done my research on the disorder, and a few days ago I thought it would be interesting to watch a documentary on it. Well, since I initially starved myself a month ago, and since I watched the documentary, I think I've become somewhat obsessed with the disorder. I don't desire any help of sorts, at all, it is as if I want to be anorexic, which to state this bluntly, I do. I am completely rational with my thinking, I am aware of what this could do to me and the people around me, I am sane. I simply hold an image in my head, not only that, I see this as a coping method for my depression, a way to deal with things so to speak, something to look forward to. There are many things contributing to the drive for me to go through with this, school being one of those things. If you would like to chat you can PM me, I don't at all mind speaking on the matter, especially if you suffer from the disorder yourself, take care.
edited by Rain45 Moved to Eating Disorders Community due to forum re-organisation