Struggling...
Been struggling for a while now, but i guess in the past month things have started to go downhill - worse than they ever have before. I am struggling with my eating disorder. I've had my eating disorder for about 6 years now. In summer 2016 it got pretty bad, but luckily i was able to go into recovery and I was able to manage my behaviours. However, this year has been a struggle - i've been slowly getting back to the place and go backwards in my recovery. I am now way worse than i was in 2016, and this past month or two I have relapsed pretty badly and at a quick rate. My college noticed, they have set me into multiple meetings and want to section me, even I know this has gotten bad. I am not eating much (I haven't eaten a proper meal in 6 days, only eaten two biscuits during this time) and I am running a lot because its the only thing that helps clear my mind. I know its not healthy. I am starting to realise I need help. I don't want to go into inpatient or be sectioned but maybe its for the best. I don't know. Any tips on how to stop the thoughts? make them shut up even a little? It's so hard. My family don't understand mental health and my friends don't care.
You're honestly so, so brave and courageous for staying strong despite these rough challenges. When you did recover, how did you make it toward recovery? Possibly using similar steps to those can help 
@Emily619 thanks, i started to make steps towards recovery in winter 2017, and i although i had bad days. i guess it was a mixture, i'm not sure i feel like this times worse because i last time it wasn't as bad, and i had several bad times that made me realise recovery was the only option. This time its like i can't help it anymore, i can't stop no matter how hard i try - i end up giving into my thoughts in any case. I'm hoping if i continue to work on it, it will get easier. Thanks for replying!
@myparalleluniverse You are so brave for reaching out! I know it's difficult, but it sounds as if you realize you need help. You acknowledge that although you don't want to be "sectioned" out or formal help, that maybe you need it. Change is uncomfortable and sometimes we have to be uncomfortable for a while to get the help that we need. You may find it hard to stop the disordered behaviors if you don't lean on someone else for support. And that is OKAY.