Share your story
Sometimes I think it's good just to get your story told so if you want to get a load of your chest about your eating disorder habits or recovery story... THIS IS THE PLACE.
*Possible trigger warning*
I think on fAT I think I'm beautiful but I'm none of those I'm normal
@niceOcean5268 u were most likely right originally. (about being beautiful)
All through my childhood I was a fussy eater and never liked vegetables. I took this into my teen years and my food range became smaller. I only eat what I crave. After mental struggles not long ago I craved nothing so.sunk inot a habit of skipping most meal apart from diner as my parents would definatly pick up on something if I didn't eat it. I still ate only half of it and told them I had eaten earlier. I'd also.throw my lunches in the bin at school which I would feel so guilty about but if I didn't bring it with me to school my prents would notice. I don't like food as much as I used to and worry my parents will noticed. I go through phases of loving my body and eating some meals and other phases of hating myself and eating little. I haven't lost much weight and don't count calories and I know what I do is wrong but I can't make myself want food anymore. I do love sweets however and sometimes binge on them but I always feel sick and horrible afterwards. I lie about food. It has affect my life. Especially school. I can't concentrate at all or remember anything which leads to arguments when I forget to do things. I just want to stay in bed all day and sleep. 2 of my friends know I eat little but they don't really know what I go through they don't worry. I want to want to be healthy but my mind is stopping me. I'd try anything to make myself want to be healthy but I am stuck in a hole. I hope one day I will get better.
@YellowSunshine6 - You say you want to get healthy, and I think that reaching out here and telling your story is the first step on that path. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about what's going on and a lot of strength to fight back and fight for your health, but you have both of those. What's important now is now that you've taken the first step, what's the next one? What can you do today to move towards recovery?
@YellowSunshine6 i think u will. U have a sort of strength thats really evident. Therefore, i believe in you.
I was 12 when I first developed anorexia. I had always been skinny and have never had that big of an appetite but when I turned 12 everything changed. I was changing in the locker room in gym and my friend (who is a gymnast and has a 6-pack) started laughing at the folds of skin I got when I leaned over. Ever since then she has been making me feel bad about my body. But it got worse halfway through 8th grade. I decided to join my schools varsity cheerleading squad. Now at the time I was 4'10 and weighed [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics / triggers] pounds but that didn't matter when my friend joined. She had a gymnastics background so I knew she would be better than me but when she got chosen to be the lead flyer instead of me she made sure to let me know it was because I was too fat. I was devastated... She had confirmed what I already thought about myself. Ever since that day I haven't been able to eat one bite of food without feeling like a fat pig. It got so bad that I had to be hospitalized. Still now after treatment I have to force myself to eat. The worst part is when she found out I was hospitalized for anorexia she laughed and said that I still needed to loose a few pounds. It's been 2 years now and I still can't bring myself to forgive her. I just hope that one day my anorexia will be gone and I can finally be happy with my body.
@Chmoore24 - I am so sorry that you had someone treating you like that. No one deserves that, especially from someone who is supposed to be a friend - it's just not okay. I'm glad to hear that you've started to get help in recovery. I know it's a hard and long road and that starting to feel better and lose those thoughts comes after the work of weight restoration, which just feels unfair. But you are clearly a strong person and you can get through this and get to that point where it doesn't feel this bad anymore. I truly believe that.
Stay strong - you're a warrior.
@Chmoore24 Your story really touched me. Sometimes people behave in a mean way because a lot of reason but it's just not acceptable. A friend must support you and tell you what is best for you honestly. You have came a long way and you must be proud of your self. Little by little you will be happy and like yourself. You are strong and you can do whatever you want.
*trigger warning*
I was always naturally thin growing up. Things were different for me though. It's not about appearance for me, it's about control. So, when my life spun wildly out of control on 2009, it was my very first impulse. After a lifetime of child abuse in all its forms, I lost two people to self inflicted untimely deaths inside the same 48 hours. I would say this life event is what really did me in in terms of my relationship to disordered thinking/eating. I had also suffered the loss of a long term live-in relationship during this time. And it grew from there.
@indigoChild337 - That's a lot to go through, especially in such a short time, and I'm so sorry for all of it. Have you been able to build a support system since then to help you through these various things? If it would be helpful to talk, you are always welcome to PM me. Stay strong, lovely.
My family seem to think I have an eating disorder as I'm not that bothered about eating? I'll eat every now and then throughout the day? My mums thinks this because I can't put weight on and she basically force feeds me because she's worried why I'm not putting weight on? I don't really know what to do?
@LittleChlo - I can't speak to your exact situation since I don't know the details, but I do know that sometimes others can see things more clearly than we can. That doesn't mean you do or you don't have an eating disorder, but if your mom is worried about it, there's probably a reason and it might be worth talking to someone to figure out if there is anything going on. Better to catch things early than late, and if there isn't anything, then maybe that will help your mom feel okay, too.
When I was three or four, my mom and I moved away from her boyfriend at that time and she married another guy. Our house was always filled with cockroaches, ants, and little bugs that get in almost anything, like cereal and granola bars and such. We rarely ever ate actual meals, it was more of "I'm kind of hungry, I guess I should eat" type of thing with no schedule at all. We didn't have very much sweet things ever because of the bug problem so everyone in the household didn't eat much overall, so I was pretty skinny for my age. A couple years later, (I was like 5 when it started) my step father began sexually abusing me orally. Sometimes I still can't put anything in my mouth at all or I'll throw up because of that. I started seeing myself as disgusting and horrible, why else would he abuse me? My self esteem has always been rather low, probably because of the abuse, which contributed a bit to my eating habbits. A few years later I moved to a new school and was pretty much the definition of the social outcast. I had hyperactive and inattentive adhd which made me very spastic, put that with my tendency to fight with everyone including teachers and everyone hated me, which of course made my self esteem even lower. In third grade I first learned about calories and started eating less as a game with myself, like how much can I go without eating. It switched from that to overeating and eventually binging, and then I taught myself how to purge when I was 13. My emotions have always been very intense and I started dating abusive people and I started ncreasing my restritcing, purging, and exercising habbits as a means of control and here I am now.
@tranquilVision80 - I am so sorry to hear about all the pain you have gone through already, and I think it takes a lot of courage to open up about it here - for that I'm really proud of you. It sounds like you've already been able to identify some of the unhealthy patterns in your life and where they come from, which is a huge start. The next piece is starting to work through them and move forward. It isn't easy, but it is possible. Do you feel like you have people you can talk to about these things? Sometimes being able to let go of the story and share with someone else can be a big step. So can really letting yourself feel your feelings and not covering them up. It may help to talk to a professional who has experience in these areas, but if you ever need some extra support outside of that, you are always welcome to PM me or another listener. Take care and stay strong, lovely - you can get through all of this.