Recovering from ED but scared of relapse :(
I’m recovering from an eating disorder and a horrid fear of gaining weight. I’ve had some really big milestones this year like finally feeling neutral with my body. I don’t like it but I don’t hate it and that’s a big step for me. Christmas time has rolled around now though and I’m getting loads of anxiety over it, it’s a holiday all about food and big meals and mostly junk food and being stuck alone in your room with your own thoughts. I’m not looking that forward too it. I’m really scared that all of my fear foods will start triggering me again and I’ll relapse into my old ways because of one religious holiday. I had a burger the other night (it’s one of the foods I spent so long trying to not be afraid of) and even though I only have them once every few months I still felt sick after taking one bite and getting really nervous.
I just want to celebrate Christmas traditions like everybody else and help cook and prepare nice food but all I can do Is disappoint my family when they cook a large meal and I hardly eat anything :(
it would be really nice if I could get any advice or just know that other people struggle with this too, I just want to know I’m not alone.
@chamomileteabag Hi! Congratulations on feeling neutral with your body and even for taking a bite of that burger. You’ve had some great milestones this year, which means you are making progress. The holidays can be tough for many reasons but extra tough in your position, and I just want you to remember that, with time, you can feel more and more comfortable with your progress. If you can make it through this holiday then it will be so much more comfortable the next time around. Remember, more than anything, your ultimate goal and first priority is to maintain your progress and don’t let anyone detract from how amazing you are doing. There are many people that share your struggle, so keep reaching out and they will be there.
