Personifying my Anorexia
So I do this thing with my eating disorder of treating it like a person. I don't know if this is abnormal but I turn to her for comfort, I fight with her, she insults me when I eat and praises me when I don't, I turn to her for approval, she doesn't love me, but I'm stuck in essentially an abusive situation. And it's all in my head which makes it so much worse because I can't run away from her. It's not like I physically hear or respond to her but I can feel it. She always points out to me all the people better than me, all the things I could be doing, and that I'm doing this to be happy so she's helping me. Anyways it makes recovering harder because with every phase that I complete in recovery she constantly tells me what a failure I am. I don't want to be her victim but I also feel terrible letting her down. How should I dehumanize Anorexia help control the thoughts I have?
You've rediscovered a technique that is often used in acceptance and commitment therapy. You treat the problem as someone outside yourself. Like the annoying person at your party that you can't send away but who you also don't have to believe. Or like the backseat driver who is giving bad advice while you're behind the wheel.
It is a great technique for feeling the problem but still doing what is good for you. And it frees your identity from the problem. For example, if the thought 'I'm worthless' pops up, it can be changed into 'anorexia is trying to convince me I'm worthless. And it does that to trick me into believing I'm too weak to fight it. But I know better.'
Reducing identification with a problem is called 'cognitive diffusion' in acceptance and commitment therapy. If this technique is already working for you maybe ask your therapist for extra tips so you can use it even more effectively?
PS. I also discovered this technique when I was 14 and it really helped me with depression. I just drew a picture of my depression and started talking to it in a kind yet assertive way. And it really helped.
Hi,
I totally relate with you, just like LuckyDucky, this is a technique to help recover. I used this technique when I was recovering (and still am). It's a good technique because it's personifying the anorexia and saying it's someone different than you. Don't believe the anorexia! The anorexia is trying to make you feel worthless and worse than others, but that's not true!!! I hope this helps, and I'm here for you. I'd be happy to chat with you personally if you need anymore help. Stay strong! ❤️
