It's getting worse
I was getting a little better with eating more and hating myself less for a short while but i can see myself going back into the darkness again. I can barely eat at all and I'm excessively exercising again and viewing proana content. I don't know how to stop myself from getting bad again, but I'm worse than I was before. I can barely hold on anymore and I don't know what to do. Nothing has helped.
@dancingwhirligigs
Hey there, Dancing.
I'm glad you decided to voice your thoughts and reach out for some extra support. It sounds like you were doing really well, and you suddenly took a turn and possibly relapsed with restricting yourself from eating, excessively exercising, and viewing pro-ana content. Firstly I would just like to say, the fact that you recognized these changes, and realized things weren't heading the right way is just amazing. Many end up ignoring these changes, and some ever go into denial, but you're accepting it and reflecting on it, which is a great first step. It sounds like you're struggling with it right now, may I ask what support system do you have right now which you can hold onto for some extra upliftment?
I would love to hear back from you, and hopefully we can go from there. The community is here to give you that support you deserve most.
@MimiBliss
My support system consists of my friend who knows that things are becoming worse once again, another friend who doesn't know, and my family who thinks therapy is helping, which is was then it stopped helping. Only my one friend knows how bad I've gotten and I'm too afraid to share with anyone else. I'm fairly supported, but I don't want to disappoint any of them or make them angry again and I'm tired of fighting the disordered voices, so I'm just about ready to give into them again. It feels like I have been fighting with nonexistent strength for too long.
Nothing makes me want to recover from this. I do not see what to recover from really.
