An Anorexic on Thanksgiving
I can easily say that today is my least favorite day of the year. I have attempted suicide a few times and my uncle was killed in Afghanistan, but none of those days are the worst for me. It is the one day where "I already ate", "I'm not hungry", "I'm not in the mood for this" or "I'm not feeling well" doesn't work. Everyone eats and they all eat a lot. I sit, slide food around my plate, drop as much into my napkin as possible without any notice, and eventually end up eating a little after a few lectures [edited by a forum moderator for potentially triggering content]. Of course, it doesn't last. Dishes are washed and whatever was eaten is thrown up. I have already had three nightmares about how the day may go I have only been sleep
accidentally pressed send. I have only been asleep for four hours. I don't know what to do or how to handle feelings like this.
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about this. But I totally know what you're going through. I deal with problems like that. Sounds like you have a root. And by root I mean something has started this all. Being insecure about yourself is just one of the petals to this flower. If you get rid of the root, the flower will die and all the petals(your behaviors) as well. Now how do you get rid of the root? Find out what caused you to be this way?
I know exactly what caused me to be this way. [edited by a forum moderator for potentially triggering content] and around two years ago, I was told my one of my friend's mom that I had put on weight and that my thighs were too big and that I would never make friends or have a boyfriend if I keep it up. I believed her and here I am after 7 weeks of hospitalization.[edited by a forum moderator for potentially triggering content] I lost my menstrual cycle and I am constantly cold. I have fuzzy hair all over my body and the hair on my head falls out and breaks very easily. I have never said anything to the woman, but she is what began this disorder for me.
People will always talk.
My own family told me a lot of hurtful things. And I believed them. But I realized that even if I am chubby or fat or whatever people wants to call me, I am still me. And my worth is not decreasing everytime I gain weight. And neither does it increase when I lose it. The only person who can "define" my worth is myself.
I am sorry to hear what you have been through. I am sure it was hard. But I really think you should seek out for help.
Do it for yourself. Because you are important, and wonderful, and your weight is not everything. You are more than your body. You are so much more.
Please message me if you ever need anything. An advice, a person to chit-chat with, anything.
Stay safe.
You are beautiful.
Im so sorry, it hurts me so bad to hear that you are struggling so hard. I know that in some little piece of you mind you want to get better and you shoud and you CAN! Dont be so hard to yourself, its the hardest to stop doing things that you're so used to. But you shoud allow yourself to eat and enjoy the food, the family time, the situation. I know its just words, but if you really try, you can. Im telling you becouse i've lived it. I know how you feel, I truly understand. im so sorry, if i coud heal you with words of love i woudnt doubt. Please, be strong, for me, for one of the many people that care about you and your happiness.
Hey there look I need to be honest here and I know you meant well but I've asked many times to please not post weights, BMIs ectin the forums.Please respect this.
Holasoyanorexicaybulimicadesdelos 16asmegustarconocerpersonasquehallanpasadoporestoo loestenpasando.Muchosbesos!!!
