I disabled myself by accident in a work accident .
At 19 years old working my first job. I accidentally disabled myself . I have a permanent spinal injury . It effects my ability to be able to walk stand or sit for long periods of time . The pain can be a lot some days.
Im 21 now and only just now getting ready to go back to work . With lots of work restrictions though .
I find myself feeling so guilty and not being able to cope .
I hate myself for what I did even though it was a accident.
it’s hard to cope that a 5 second event has caused me a permanent reality. or the fact that other plp have had the same type of accident but didn’t get disabled like me .
I hate that my body failed me.
I haven’t been able to sleep for a few days .
the feeling of guilt and not wanting to live disabled has been overwhelming .
Has anyone else experienced something similar? In my head it feels as though most people are born disabled or get disabled by a event out of there own control .
Has anyone else disabled themselves and have advice on how to forgive yourself . Or if anyone has advice in general.
thank you.
I think many many people who are disabled became that way through accidents and some are not as random as you would think... some people get severely injured doing even minor things so i am not sure what you mean by you did it yourself.
did you do something out of protocol for the job or took a risk doing something.....
At your age it is awful because with limitations you may not get to do all you had planned or hoped for
but you are in a good position to show others yes an accident or misstep can last you a lifetime.
yeah I think you’re right , it’s probably just my view . I don’t know a lot of disabled people. I guess I mean that I caused the accident. By making a mistake wasn’t on purpose. I wasn’t doing anything crazy just working .
@Misspenny It sounds like you are having a hard time accepting and adjusting to the limitations and pain caused by your injury, and this is causing you to feel guilt and self hatred. Making mistakes is part of being human, it's how we learn. Unfortunately, we live in a hostile environment with fragile bodies, so even a small mistake can have severe consequences. It isn't your fault that you developed this injury while others who had similar accidents did not, you were just unlucky.
This resource may be helpful to you: https://www.7cups.com/forgiveness/ You might also consider reading some books on self-forgiveness, such as Radical Self-Forgiveness, The Self-Forgiveness Handbook, or How to Forgive Ourselves Totally. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more about this. I hope you find peace, acceptance, and healing.
Thank you I’ll look into these.
@Misspenny
Many people are disabled because of their work, but they still survived strong, I hope you can stick to it too.