This is debilitating
i feel like there’s not a lot of people who truly understand how debilitating neurodevelopment disorders can be. I am a young adult with a full time job and I can’t help but to compare myself to others there. Why is it so easy for other people to do their jobs? And live at the same time? I have to work to live but I do not get to do much living due to my disorders. I am jealous of the people who can do it all and not have to struggle so much. I don’t mean to complain because I’m grateful for what I CAN do but I’m just sad and angry and frustrated with myself for not being able to meet standards the same way that other people can.
@peachMap135
Your not the only one.
We don't like to bring attention to it at work. The chronically depressed might be near by and you won't even know.
While this *could* be chronic depression, that also feels a bit like a dismissal of the OP's actual point.
Why is being frustrated with and tired by the fact that you actually are doing life on hard mode, facing uphill battles the neurotypical world just dismisses, often facing both internal amd external expectations that consume a lot more energy while being told your whole life you may not be trying hard enough in any way depression?
This sounds like the OP is putting a lot of energy into "passing" as "normal" and/or compensating for a neurological difference and then not realizing how much energy that takes. There is nothing to be ashamed of here, its okay to be sad, its okay to be angry, and its okay just to be tired.
Trying to live a "normal" life is always going to be harder for you because you aren't wired for it. Try spending at least some of your time approaching life in a way that actual fits your neurological difference and judging yourself only on your own personal scale. Now look at the more mainstream world, what do you actually *have* to do in it, and what brings you actual pleasure and possitive feelings - focus on only on a mix of things you actually need and want to do and give yourself credit for doing it on hard mode.
Also see if maybe you *don't* have to hard core mask and pass in some of these spaces and activities - are there accomidations available that would help? Thid doesn't mean throw all caution and efforts to pass away - but you will find yourself able to do more if less of your energy is on hiding and compensating for your differences.
I hope that helps.