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Mentally ill people & people with learning disabilities. When did you realize you were "different"?

User Profile: unassumingPeach6421
unassumingPeach6421 December 2nd

I wanted to post this thread because I saw a reddit thread with this title and I was reading what people had to say. A lot of it was really powerful stuff. A lot of discouraged people, confused and unsure of how to grow up in a world that feels so unfamiliar and even unwelcoming to them. I have to admit I fell into this category and it felt healing to hear the extremes. I always said I was a dramatic child but I believe I was minimizing my story. I can't think of anything I hate more than people who pity me. Too often I try to be an activist and I'm met with condescending "it's okay honey" or "poor dear." But I don't hold grudges about people who were never taught how to understand someone like me. I find that to be the most ironic thing. People with mental disabilities for hundreds of years were labeled ignorant. But I believe the real ignorance is all the people that never tried to understand them. The real ignorance is misinformation. I also have fallen prey to one upping others. Like "you have 3 disorders? I have 4!" I don't want that. I wanted to list my disorders here because they are going to follow me for the rest of my life and sometimes I just need to share all these crazy things on my mind so I can feel lighter. My disabilities make me human and I refuse to hide the most human parts of myself (even with all the jerks out there). 


I have:

A specific reading disorder

Alexythimia 

Interroception Issues

Autism

Low memory IQ

Sensory Processing Disorder

ADHD Combined Type

Expressive Language Disorder

Auditory Processing Disorder

Minor Dyspraxia

Seasonal Depression

Anxiety


I'm not perfect and even if I had no diagnosis that statement wouldn't change. I've been through after school programs, failing classes interventions, IEPs, hours of tutoring, sleepless nights, accusations and interrogations. I've felt isolated from people with my disabilities, I've felt alone surrounded by able bodied people, I've come in dead last many times, and embarrassed myself more times than I could count. It hasn't been easy. I've felt less deserving in my relationships. Buzzfeed said I was a creative that lacked confidence and they were right. I've been told I had a confidence issue by everyone that cared. 

I didn't make it this far to only make it this far. Even now that I'm coming undone by all my poor choices and executive dysfunction tearing at my seams. I wouldn't say this is incredibly uplifting I just want to say that I see me. And for anyone else struggling with their mind I see you too. You've come further than most people can even imagine. It's beautiful to accomplish even small things regardless of however much help it took to get there. I don't care as much what people think of me and it makes it easier for me to love myself but sometimes I like going back and remembering the past to realize how far I've come. All I've experienced gained and lost. Somehow I'm still grateful to keep living. 

A YouTuber I like said, "stop trying to make it easy some things are going to be hard depending on your circumstance it might be harder than other people’s circumstances. If you wait for everything to be easy first you’re most likely not going to do anything. Do hard things because you can." I am trying to do all this work that I put off and I came on here because I had my doubts. I also went to the reddit thread because I was wondering, is it this hard for anyone else? And the answer was yes. Their stories are so close to my own. But I didn't seek out people like me to reason my problems away, I found this information to give me strength. Yeah this is all hard, I get it. But it's my life I can't give up on it. 

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User Profile: unassumingPeach6421
unassumingPeach6421 OP December 2nd

@unassumingPeach6421

I just wanted to add a comment to hopefully get this page to get more views. I worked hard on this mini essay and I believe it will help others.

User Profile: unassumingPeach6421
unassumingPeach6421 OP December 2nd

same thing here, just adding comments

User Profile: WellsFiction
WellsFiction December 2nd

@unassumingPeach6421 Hey there Peach. Thanks for posting and sharing this. I'm sorry no one else has responded yet. Just because something doesn't get viewed or attention doesn't make it less important. It's great that you aren't using your problems as a tool to control others or make other people feel bad. Instead you're aware and sharing your thoughts and experiences, learning about other issues other people are having. I love that! 

I was born with a rare disorder called MPS( mucopolysaccharidosis), It's a extremely rare metabolic disease  that occurs when the body doesn't have enough enzymes to break down glucosamines(GAGs) which are also known as a chain of sugar molecules. This disease affects multiple parts of the body such as joins, skin, connective tissue etc. I'm 30 years old. I've received treatment through enzyme replacement therapy since I was nine years old. My medicine was actually accepted and approved months before I found out about my disorder. Beside this I also have anxiety and other issues. Overall I'm thankful for my medicine and life in general. I believe in God and know He has me in the palm of His hands. I trust, obey and live life to the full. Life is beautiful no matter what. Keep sharing your message. It will inspire someone :)

1 reply
User Profile: unassumingPeach6421
unassumingPeach6421 OP December 2nd

@WellsFiction Same for you I'm glad you found so much purpose and meaning in life, we all deserve that.

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