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Growth mindset vs parental expectations

WorkInProgress17 March 22nd, 2021

Hi! You can call me WP. I have Dysphonetic Dyslexia and auditory processing issues, but have found my way into graduate school studying psychology. I love what I study, because I think it helps me better understand my own mind. Studying learning has helped me shed the shame I’ve felt for being a “slow processor.” I’ve really gravitated toward Dweck’s work on growth vs fixed mindset. If you haven’t heard of it, I highly recommend looking into it. It’s been really helpful in my journey of accepting and appreciating my own unique mind. It makes me want to help others better understand their own learning. However, I still have a parent that inserts small comments about my academic work. They’re subtle enough that I don’t feel like it warrants being called out, but I find myself ruminating on it and feeling negative mental talk flooding my mind again. I probably shouldn’t mention how I’m doing in school at this point, but it’s routinely asked. How do you all handle the antiquated mindsets your parents or authority figures weigh on you as you’re trying to grow? I understand what they’re implying about me isn’t true, but I still feel it’s effects. Any suggestions of how you handle situations like this, or just that you relate in some way, is really appreciated. XOXO WP

2
Azalea98 March 23rd, 2021

@WorkInProgress17

Firstly I would like to say how amazing it is that you have managed to overcome this all and study psychology, I agree its very fascinating!

I have very similar personal experiences ♥️

I have Phonological Processing Dyselexia and Auditary sequential Memory dyslexia.

i will still have my parents make the occasional jab at my appauling spelling or simply comment on how I wrote half the amount everyone else did for an English Essay.

I wish I could give you a tried an true method for being able to block out the comments but I haven't found one yet. Possibly talking to them about the way it is making you feel could be very effective if you are brave enough to do so ♥️

Another would just be everytime you feel like you are "slow" or something along those lines. I like to just take a mintue to think about what I have actually managed to achieve, even looking at it all is just fascinating to me, that I have been able to overcome this Neurological disadvantage and yet I still have managed to achieve all this.

To sum up Just trying to keep a glass half full mindset is beneficial although its very difficult when you have those around you trying to stop that.

1 reply
WorkInProgress17 OP March 24th, 2021

Thank you so much for sharing! It’s helpful just knowing that someone understands. I’ll try focusing on the journey the next time those doubts creep in. Maybe if I monitor my self-talk better, it’ll make the comments less effective.

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