Overwhelmed
Waiting to hear back on two apartments....waiting to hear back on a job interview.....strarting with a new therapist, psychiatrist, and group. Various appointments on how to do this while on disability. This would be the first time in five years living on my own and working. Don't know if it's too much too soon after last year having over 7 hospitalizations.
Just found out one of the two apartments has been rented out,,,,to a friendof his gf...go figure....it was the nicer of the two. Have a call in on the other one. I'm bumming.
Ever since I graduated and started work, I have had to support my family. Im not complaining about that..in fact, I love helping my mum, dad and little bro. I would continue do this til the day I die, if I had to. What I get annoyed with is the thought ofhow reckless my parents have been with their finances that has led them to the point of dependency. Its the sight of seeing them helpless that really eats away at me.
I sometimes wish that I was that little child again, where the parents seemed invincible because as an adult and having to hear their problems makes me sick in the heart.
Today was one of those days where even though I asked my father not to share with me specific topics that I knew I could not help with, he still told me then attached me to the emails he sent to my mum detailing the issues. Just too much to bear at the moment.
I can totally relate. My mom and dad were always on the verge on bankruptcy. Paying bills late, or not at all...always phishing for funds. Trying to borrow money from me. It's definitely hard to deal with. Stressful. Hard when you're more responsible then your parents. I've just taken it as a learning lesson on what not to do...how not to live my life..