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Hi, kinda scared to post

I have been disabled for seven years.

I don’t have a diagnosis that anyone seems to accept when I say I am disabled but my back went from one slipped disc to three right before I moved across several states (despite finally finding an excellent osteopath where i used to live who was committed to me getting better) by car and seems to be getting worse. Scoliosis, which I did not have before this. My cptsd is inflamed because of being emotionally and sometimes physically abused by my last carers who I was with for six years. It may even be the crux of why I started not healing?


I have had doctors and other medical staff not believe me so many times. I fear going to hospitals and doctors, and yet I desperately need their help.


I have even had close friends accuse me of making it all up so I could just live off my family, which is not what I want at all as they are emotionally abusive.


It is wrecking my relationship due to needing so much care and not having funding to afford to pay for it.


10/10 would not recommend. And I don’t want to feel that way. Healing and having care shouldn’t be this hard.


Sorry, a lot to unpack. This is the first disabled space other than cptsd specific groups I have ever felt safe sharing in.

2
AffyAvo March 7th, 2023

Welcome! I'm glad you got up the courage to post, you are definitely welcomed here.

I've had issues being believed too, invisible disabilities can slow the process of getting help. You're right, it shouldn't be as difficult to get care as it is ❤️

IndigoWhisper May 4th, 2023

Hugs - I'm actually trying to join or form a support group for person's dealing with trauma from disability related gas lighting and/or other types of abuse.


I'm all over 7 cups and still trying to fully "move- in" but yes I get the pervasive in validation the judgement and all the things that happen.


It's a little different for different types and degrees of disability and a little different when you have a disability as a child as well as "invisible" versus more visible disabilities but all are very much valid.


You are valid, your experiance is valid, and we are all fighting to stay afloat and have full lives together