isolated

I am so alone. I have a family but cannot work because of a disabling condition that also causes extreme chronic pain. I am losing the ability to speak and movement is halting and hard. i was Always a type a personality and very high achiever. I was proud of myself and my accomplishments. Now I spend almost all my days alone at home in my recliner. My life has spiraled down to a place I never in my wildest dreams could have envisioned even a year ago. I am at the bottom, but doesn't that mean there is nowhere else to go but up? Things are so hard that I no longer want to be alive. However i also see life as a precious gift. And because of that, despite how hard things are in my life, I am not going to give up. My goal is to take tiny baby steps forward of of the darkness. Even small progress out of the darkness would change my world. I will not give up until I discover a way forward. Is there anyone out there who can relate? Is there anyone who is willing to come and (virtually) walk alongside me as I try to make my life not hurt so bad again and I try to find a way to really live again?/I feel so alone but my spirit yearns for joy once more.