Why can't I fix my depression
I have been dealing with depression and dysthymia for almost 30 years. I usually have it under control with meds and therapy, but the last 6 weeks I have had a major relapse/recurrence.
None of my normal coping methods are working and I could use some support.
Why doesn't this ever get easier to deal with?
I am so sorry that it is hitting harder right now. That can be really tough.
But keep reminding yourself that you have techniques now to deal with all of this better. I know my depression will never go away completely. When it comes it will still hurt bad. But I am stronger and I get over those bad moments more quickly.
You will too.
We can always chat here more if that will help. @Ambrcat
Thank you for sharing. I know we hear that a lot as people with mental illness but I sincerely mean that 🙏🏾 I’m currently trying my best to cope with being in pain as well as the realization that I’ve been in pain for about 15 years but dissociated instead. I’m trying to find some healthy coping mechanisms myself, instead of giving into thoughts of self harm. I hope you know that you’re not alone and that you have been strong enough to make it this far, and you are strong enough to keep going and continue to deal with your situation. Please remember to breathe, take some breaks/rests and practice some self care if you can ♥️ You are loved and supported.
Thank you both for responding-it helps to feel heard.
My husband just lost his job due to his own mental health issues as well as things beyond his control. I don't know how to help him when I can't help myself
Think about how you would want to be helped if you were in his shoes. Ultimately it is being present and saying that it is going to be okay (even if you are unsure on that front). It is holding hands. It is getting outside and walking. You are already better than most people in terms of helping because you have been there (in part). @Ambrcat
This is selfish, but I don't have energy to deal with this,. We both try to be supportive of each other, but right now it feels like we can't. I love him and just want both of us to get better.
I am also angry because he has insisted that he doesn't need counseling and the only person he has problems getting along with is me. This is not true, but it has been his perception of it.
I hate that I am always the person who has to placate and cope with everyone else's problems. I can't have bad days or be depressed because it upsets and inconveniences others. I am the person who has to be so on top of my feelinga and spend the hours in therapy, take meds, consistently hold my depression at bay.
And the people in my life don't acknowledge that they have issues, don't understand being depressed (I have long stopped expecting them to understand) and.don't have to struggle to want to live.
I am tired of falling into this pit. I don't know if I can keep this going.
I am sorry
There is absolutely nothing there to be sorry for. You are trying to protect yourself and you deserve that protection. It sounds like you give a tremendous amount for little return. You have a right to be upset and tired at this point.
Figuring out better ways to care for yourself right now sounds critical. First off, feel free to write and vent here as often as you want, even every day. I will respond back once a day every day. Getting it all out of your head helps.
Second, are you able to do the basics - eating regularly and drinking fluids? Without those you don't have enough energy to fight.
Third, what would taking a few days off and going somewhere alone look like? Is that possible for you?
You are stronger than you know, but you really do deserve some rest. @Ambrcat
I am fighting to keep up my usual routine. I admit that I do need my husband's help to get up in the morning because of my narcolepsy, (he gets me coffee and meds). He also usually makes dinner. I feel so guilty for depending on him and asking for help.
This situation is partially my own fault. If I was better able to control my own physical and mental health issues, I would have been able to be less dependent on and more supportive of him when he has problems.
The important part is that you are fighting. I know that I too feel guilty about how much I place on my husband when I am at my low points. But he wants to help. Helping others often helps the person giving the help too. @Ambrcat
Hey Amber, you are doing the best that you can! You have reached out for help and that is a huge step and I want to validate for you! It takes confidence to ask for help. You and your husband are a team. He is there to support you by assisting you. We are not perfect and depression symptoms can be very difficult to manage. When is the last time you got out of the house and really did something for yourself that made you feel good?