Quick intro

My name is Bri (bree). I'm in my late 40's and mom to two grown children. My husband is disabled.

I lost my parents when I was less than 2 years old. My mom's parents raised me, but there were people in my family that didn't want me because of being biracial. I was bullied from the time I was in first grade through the beginning of high school. Things started to turn bad at home when I was in junior high. I constantly got in trouble for things for no apparent reason. For example: I'd ask for permission to do something and get in trouble for it later. There were at least 3 times my freshman year that my grandmother would not speak to me for a week, and the only thing that she would tell me was that I knew what it was that made her mad, which wasn't true. I had no clue why she was angry. My first marriage was abusive and ended in divorce. My current marriage has had several significant challenges that we have had to work through, and are still working on.

I have struggled with self-esteem issues since at least junior high - maybe longer. The past couple of days I have been feeling down, and I think the trigger was because of an incident between me and my husband a couple of days ago. At home, I rarely smile, and I am rarely happy. It's not as bad at work, but I feel like I can be more "me" at work, but not at home. I don't know if that makes sense or not. My husband has issues as well, and it's like if he's not in a good mood, I can't be in a good mood either.