Lonely and Constantly Seeking Relationships

@CausticAL17 I know exactly how you feel because I've been going through the same thing for 4 years now. You can't seem to truly feel happy unless you have someone to be happy with and to share your love. Sometimes it feels like your emotions are overflowing in your chest, right?

I can't tell you that I've found a solution, because I refuse to lie. But there are ways for people like us to lighten the burden our emotions place on our shoulders:
Personally, I've taken up writing when I'm in times of need or great stress. I started with a journal where I wrote down my unfiltered thoughts and emotions (usually late at night when my family was sleeping, so noone would disturb me). Eventually I thought of a way to help me visualise what's going on and I wrote a story using those pictures in my mind (I can't draw for the life of me, otherwise it would have been a comic)

The concept in my story is that emotions are manifested as cubes colored according to what you're feeling. The colors can be whatever you associate with the corresponding emotion but I used Blue for Hope, green for Happiness, red for love etc. I also use black cubes in my story. Noone else can see them, but they're around me/you, they whisper and pile up until the whisper is a scream and it seems to drown out everything else. Maybe the black cubes are neglected red ones? Maybe they're just the feeling of depression and anxiety? You'll have to choose what makes more sense to you if you wish to see things using my metaphor. But if you don't feel like you can write as well as you'd need to, perhaps you can draw or sing or play an instrument. Anything to channel that pressure inside of you and give it some other form. It won't make it all go away, but it might help you understand your feelings a bit more. And over time you might open up to a person or two and when you do, you'll slowly build up a safety net for when things get really bad. I have two or three people by now who I know I can say everything to and they'll support me. Things are bad right now, but it'll work out, ok? If they wouldn't, I wouldn't be around to tell you this...

What I'm getting at is there are different ways for people like us to try and understand and express our feelings. I know that often it seems like only someone else can save us. But please trust me on this: if you go down my path and convince yourself that you can't help yourself, the next years of your life are going to be very difficult...

I have several emotional wounds that need healing. But I still find myself looking for "the one". Funny thing I don't even know what I'm looking for. I'm blind folded, digging in a barrel and every object I pull out I hope it's what I've been looking for. I woke up saw something that triggered my anxiety. I have separated myself from people except for one person, so I can heal. But now thinking I need to separate myself completely. From everyone. I don't know what to do. I'll be in happy mood and then Ill see something that change my mood instantly. I don't want people to change my emotions. I just want to be happy internally and externally