please help me through my worst time

I am desperately need help. I have been through a bad period when my  school debate club rejected me, okay fine i still manage to overcome it. However, at the later time of the day, i realized that my mom didnt register me for the taekwondo band enhancement exam while i am qualified for the exam to get a higher rank band.... I have practiced continuously for the past weeks to prepare for this and the next exam in March i cant join due to school. I seriously feel burnout and want to give up on it because i just intended after taking the higher band i would leave taekwondo class (not really because i hate it, but i want to rest) to try for the singing class that i am desperately wanted to learn singing techniques. I feel reallly hopeless, mad and even do self harm and suicide thoughts mainly for 2 reasons:

My mom dont let me rest stop taking taekwondo for a while because she insist it is for health and singing sucks needn't to learn

I want recognition, and getting a higher band in taekwondo give me many benefits such as recognition to boost my self esteem, to feel that i have something that a person who i extremely hated to the point i am obsessed with them, compare myself with them and more. I also want to give the certificate into my scholarship document to show that aside from learning i also take care of myelf in front of universities' admissions.

I seriously desperated and need someone help