Special rant.
Writing this in piiiiinnnkkkkkkkk (I love pink)
my home life...isn't the greatest, my mom is put bluntly an alcoholic. Has been my whole life, it's only now stopped because she's pregnant, but before her liver almost entered the early stages of failure, she almost had to be hospitalized.
(My dad just doesn't give a single ***, and I'm 99% sure is cheating on my mom)
I resent my family, my older sister ran away, twice and bought CPS for a friendly chat at our house (humiliating.) my other sister didn't run away, but did the exact same thing and ran her mouth and bought CPS to, I nevertheless do NOT intend to bring that kind of attention to myself or the family, whom despite it's flaws, is 110% better than being in the horribly underfunded foster system, and my mother, is who I resent the most.
I just, feel like giving up, I've been thinking suicidal thoughts, I've self harmed, and now I feel humiliated, I resent my own family, I resent myself, and I miss my best friend, I coped with self deprecating humor, and now my friends joke about me being autistic or special...That's just, awesome. (humiliating)
TL;DR, My family is absolutely destroyed, and now I'm crying for help.
@IntelligentPink sits beside you and hugs you tightly ❤ pink is my second favourite colour 🙂 blue is my first, blue like the sky, and the ocean and smurfs😁 maybe your sister's got cps involved cause they feel as lost as you, but I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Sometimes when I hear things like this I feel lucky to not have any family. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about honey. I bet your plans are to finish school, get a job, and move far away. So just focus on yourself, on your life. And continue to reach out here ❤ I hope everything works out well and you'll grow up to be rich and happy ❤
@Tinywhisper11
thanks! I haven’t really thought of any plans for the future, as I’m just trying to keep myself in the present and not hope for anything I’ll inevitably be unable to have, I’m thinking I might have to settle for a trade or join the military, either one I don’t really care.
your kind words mean a LOT to me, thanks again! 😎🤘
@IntelligentPink that's sad to hear😥 I'm sorry sweetie, I wish there was someway to take you from all this mess and pain. Please be safe ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
I am up super late always doing homework I want someone to love me and notice me for my hard work but no one does
I just want someone to hold me when I need it a friend or a real actual lover
and I guess I'm the I don't talk much kid and I guess you can say I am the shy kid or the quiet kid in the back on the classroom... I have 2 friends but they never show up to school and when they do they hang with other people...
and like I am having a really hard time with school and depression and anxiety. with school, I made the mistake on choosing to be in all the honors and AP classes, I have never had a problem taking them before but I guess now I get a taste of high school. My friend keep telling me to switch out of the classes I can't handle but I feel if I do that I will be a disappointment and a failure to myself so I cant bring myself to switch out. I spend most of my time working on school work and staying up tell 2 in the morning trying to get things in on time and even then I never do. I have a couple classes with this one guy and he always gets strate A's he never does any work in class and it seemed like he never tries... it pisses me off because I always give 120% for school and with everything I do but I never get it. my parents told me to get C's at the least but for me my brain tells me that I need to get all A's I have no idea why. when I see his grades and how much effort I put in and he doesn't it makes me feel worthless and that I am just all the bad things you can think of in the book. I am just so tired and I am just so done. you know? I used to have a good relationship with my parents but now I am super distant, today has been a hard day and when my parents asked what's wrong I said I didn't want to talk about it. I started to cut myself again and I need some help on stopping... my depression is starting to kick in and the thoughts are getting worse I just need someone to help me know I'm not alone...
sorry that is kinda a lot at once Im sorry if you read this and it made you uncomfortable but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest...
@Mad8MJ
Thanks for the reply, you can do it!
@IntelligentPink
pookie bear you can always talk to me too I am always here I know I said that before but I mean it I also enjoy helping ppl I would love to help you out if I can and I would love to try your by Betsy
