My dad has everyone fooled into thinking hes a nice guy but hes not fooling me
He manipulates me and emotionally verbally abuses me yet im treated like the help the charity the crazy mentally unstable weak link by him i'm sick of it!
@nessdamess
Family dynamics are hard and although you never said your age ... as we grow up and if we have been treated badly or differently by a parent .... doubt he has everyone else fooled many peopel know when someone is a jerk even if they do not seem to express it.
I finally felt free after being mature about it and spoke up. My parent denied it of course but spoke to a my step dad years later and was told my mom was always treating me like that because she wanted me to need her more like my siblings did and she knew i was independent.
I think as parent now we have the hardest time with a child that somehow reminds us of ourselves or pieces of ourselves we are not fond of. It may not really about the child but dealing with letting the child be themselves. I always wanted to steer my child away from things i had done because i wanted them to not face hard things like i did but in reality when i let them make their own mistakes they did fine ....better then i did
@toughTiger6481 my age has no context to this not sure why that would help, i am just venting nothing else. This sounds invalidating and your situation whatever it was is different to mine. Everyone's family dynamics are different. some parents good bad and toxic absent or present. so this perspective doesnt apply to everyone so just a heads up.
@toughTiger6481 you dont know my situation, i understand what you mean but thats not the case for me. so thanks but yeah.
you dont know my situation, i understand what you mean but thats not the case for me. so thanks but yeah.
Hello Ness
@cucumber1000 Hi cucumber
@nessdamess
An exact accurate description of my abusive mother.
Maybe your dad and my mom should get married since they both have this description in common??? 😂😂😂😂😂
If it’s possible, my advice would be to distance yourself as far away and for as long as you can. While you do that, if it’s possible to do it, talk with a therapist with experience in this specific area of life problems.
@akunknown lol and i can try. i am not sure how to do that. I still live with him plus 1) i'm dependent on him, I don't want to be but i am 2) i dont drive 3) i am not employed or in education right now for personal reasons. But i would like to try out your advice despite this so I appreciate it.
@nessdamess
No problem regarding the advice. Glad you’re willing to try it out. Good luck! Really hope it works out for you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
About your 3 mentioned factors, I know multiple people who are in the same situation. I was in that situation myself for a long time but not anymore I’m happy to say.
1. Being dependent on your dad: I’m not saying it’ll be easy but you gotta gradually become more self dependent and eventually not be dependent on him. I understand not being able to do certain things yourself like live on your own bc you’re not working. Is there anyone else you can stay with until you’re ready to live in your own place??? If not, at least you can try moving to another section of wherever you’re living with your dad if there is one in an attempt to distance yourself from him as much as possible. Or spend more time outdoors and less time indoors which allows some distance from him too.
2. Not driving: While this may put you in situations where you and your dad will be with each other, if you distance yourself from him as much as you can when you’re not in a car with each other, I don’t think it’ll be that bad. Certainly not as bad as it is if you’re not distanced from him at all which is worse.
3. Not working or in school for personal reasons: I understand this too. Of course people have to work once they’re at the age where they can and have to work. But if personal things are affecting you, it’ll likely affect your job performance too which won’t be good. But on the other hand, if you did have a job, this’ll also provide an opportunity for you to distance yourself from your dad since it’d either be a job where you’d have to be at the office or a remote job which doesn’t have to be done at home as it can be done anywhere as long as you have sufficient and stable and reliable internet and everything else you need for that job.
@akunknown i'll give that a go, have nothing else to lose and thanks