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Ladder

User Profile: LilliRex
LilliRex August 28th

Emotionless and empty

that is how I feel.

Nothing inside me is real.

I am falling down a rabbit hole in unending sorrow.

Wishing I wouldn't wake up tomorrow.

I feel nothing and everything at the same time.

Life is a long ladder I must climb

the steps that keep breaking under my feet

I keep falling down 

I don't want to get back up anymore.

Life is a chore 

I pick up the broken wood and glue it back together.

the wood gets weaker every time, 

I must be a mime, and no one listens to what I'm saying.

I keep asking for someone to help me,

I give my heart away for free

now it's gone.

The steps lead my heart back.

I lost myself when you left.

Please get back to me, and don't leave me alone.

You left when I was ten.

I won't care about anything again.

I smashed the ladder to pieces,

I don't want to trust again.

I smashed that ladder now all love is gone

one more time and I'll snap in two

please don't tell me you'll leave too.

2
User Profile: bestVase7265
bestVase7265 August 30th

That is a strong, beautiful poem. Did you want to tell us more about how you are feeling? It sounds like you are in lots of pain right now. @LilliRex

User Profile: WhiteAura9
WhiteAura9 September 17th

@LilliRex

Your words express a profound sense of emptiness and sorrow. It sounds like you're experiencing a deep and overwhelming feeling of loss and despair, and it’s clear that these emotions are deeply painful for you.

Feeling emotionless and empty, while simultaneously feeling everything at once, can create a sense of confusion and isolation. It’s as if you’re caught in a cycle of disappointment and struggle, where the effort to keep going feels increasingly burdensome.

The imagery of falling down a broken ladder and picking up the pieces of wood reflects a significant struggle and a feeling of weariness. It’s understandable that these experiences have left you feeling like you don’t want to keep trying or trusting again. The sense of having your heart given away and feeling alone is particularly poignant and speaks to a deep need for connection and support.

The pain of feeling abandoned, especially since you mention losing someone when you were ten, seems to be a significant factor in your current feelings. It’s natural to feel a sense of betrayal and to struggle with trust when you’ve been hurt in the past.

Your emotions and experiences are valid, and it’s important to acknowledge the weight of what you’re going through. You have expressed a desire for someone to be there for you, and it’s okay to reach out for support from those you trust. Even if it feels like no one listens, your feelings matter and are worth expressing.

Please remember that your pain is significant, and your longing for connection and understanding is a crucial part of your experience. It's okay to take things one step at a time and to seek comfort in whatever way feels right for you. Your heart and your struggles are real, and you deserve to find ways to heal and feel supported.