What my depression feels like....
I'm brand new here so I really hope I'm doing this right.
It feels like I'm hanging on to the edge of a bottomless pit, like a deep dark empty void. Some days I feel strongly, I've got a good grip. I will pull myself back out into the world. Then I have days where I'm just so tired, I can see the way out but have no idea how to get there. I'm tired of fighting, I'm so incredibly lonely, I feel weak, I don't know how I got this way. I'm sick of people telling me to just snap out of it, that I'm just being dramatic or I want the attention. I miss the person I used to be, but I don't know how to get her back.
My days are spent plastering on the fake smile, pretending that nothing is wrong going through the motions of life but definitely not living. And I'm so unbelievably lonely, I've never trusted people easily. Over the last few years the people I have let in, have proven that I'm way to much work. I guess that's why I joined this site, I'm terrified to ask for help,it makes me feel so weak. But I can't keep ahold of this edge anymore.
So I'm willing to put my hand out,is anyone willing to grab hold?
@Quicksand77
Hi there :) I am new here as well and from this here i can tell you at least that you are in better situation than me. I was in you shoes 5 months ago and i felt sick of the fake smile so i isolated myself completely. First i start ignoreing my phone, than the facebook messages from friends, after i turned off my phone . I though that i will heal myself alone. Now i am better because i finally feel that i am ready to move on ( comeing on this site is my 1 step ) but this is the harder way in my opinion. I know how it feels and i dont know is it helpful but i will advise you not to isolate no matter what. In this moment you feel down and you are aware and tring to find solution which is fine. Dont be scared and you will find solution. You can read other peoples experiances on the forums, you can talk with listener, you can answer other peoples questions . This helped me because when i write this to you now i feel better because i belive my words . I support you and we will be better <3 Keep fighting
@courageousCake401
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Unfortunately I have already isolated myself. If I'm not at work I just stay home. My daughter drags me out of the house and can make me laugh when all I want to do is cry.
But I also know that we can all do this, I've seen people beat this. That's why we are on here; to support each other. I know you can do anything you want. This is the first step to happiness. Meeting people that truly understand what you're going through. It's terrifing to reach out, and ask for help. But you've found the strength to do it. Together we can and will find the road to happiness and walk it with each other.
