Is it okay for me to be depressed over the loss of someone I didn’t know?

@Kay9833

Hi. I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling everything you are. You feel that you had a missed chance, could of helped him and always thought you would at some point reach out. You are feeling selfish? You are not selfish. You are probably an empath and they are a rare breed. With lots of feelings for others but it is okay to feel for yourself too. Regrets hurt. Now about what he wanted. That shouldn't affect how you feel. You are not the same person as him. That would mean you hold resentment, I keep reading "I feel selfish because it feels like I'm only foucsing on what I wanted". No you aren't. You are focusing on him and you. What could of been? If he was a heroine addict .. what could of been was a lot of heartache for you just in a different form. He could of rejected you out of embarrassment. Wanted money from you. You could of put in lots of effort to no avail with horrible memories to haunt you. You sound like a beautiful loving person, so unselfish and caring. As an empath you are probably going to play this out over and over until there is just no more angles to think of. Selfish people let go easily. In a time of grief when everyone was telling me to get over it, one friend, he's a real genius, said to me "be glad you are shattered and destroyed, many people wouldn't even care". After years of grief that one sentance changed it for me. I was unique, I was beautiful, I was an empath, I cared for others and felt uncomfortable caring about myself to the point of even questioning if I should. There are many great books on being an empath. Not an easy road being one but embrace it. It's very unique and what the world needs.