Is it okay for me to be depressed over the loss of someone I didn’t know?
Hello y’all, lately I’ve been feeling pretty depressed about the passing of my biological father. He passed away almost three years ago from a heroin overdose, but the thing is, I didn’t really know him. I was 17 when he passed, and before he passed away I kept having thoughts about reaching out to him. However, I missed my chance. I just feel depressed because I miss him. I wish I had gotten to know him. I’m sad that I didn’t get the opportunity to have a relationship with my own father. I wish he was still alive, I wish I could’ve helped him. I feel selfish because it feels like I’m only focusing on what I wanted and how I feel. What about him, what if he never wanted me in his life anyways? I guess I just needed to talk about this, thank you all for reading. I would appreciate some tips to help me cope with this loss if you guys would like to give input. Is it wrong for me to feel bad about it? Thank y’all so much ♥︎
@Kay9833
Hi. I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling everything you are. You feel that you had a missed chance, could of helped him and always thought you would at some point reach out. You are feeling selfish? You are not selfish. You are probably an empath and they are a rare breed. With lots of feelings for others but it is okay to feel for yourself too. Regrets hurt. Now about what he wanted. That shouldn't affect how you feel. You are not the same person as him. That would mean you hold resentment, I keep reading "I feel selfish because it feels like I'm only foucsing on what I wanted". No you aren't. You are focusing on him and you. What could of been? If he was a heroine addict .. what could of been was a lot of heartache for you just in a different form. He could of rejected you out of embarrassment. Wanted money from you. You could of put in lots of effort to no avail with horrible memories to haunt you. You sound like a beautiful loving person, so unselfish and caring. As an empath you are probably going to play this out over and over until there is just no more angles to think of. Selfish people let go easily. In a time of grief when everyone was telling me to get over it, one friend, he's a real genius, said to me "be glad you are shattered and destroyed, many people wouldn't even care". After years of grief that one sentance changed it for me. I was unique, I was beautiful, I was an empath, I cared for others and felt uncomfortable caring about myself to the point of even questioning if I should. There are many great books on being an empath. Not an easy road being one but embrace it. It's very unique and what the world needs.
