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How to tell your therapist that you want to switch?

Maddie0302 August 27th, 2019

So I've been seeing this therapist for quite a while now but I don't feel like it really matches. He tells me stuff that makes sense to me, and I do know more about the way I act or process things, but he can't help me with actually working on those things, or how to change my way of thinking. I feel like I only get more stuff to think about, wich gives me extra stress because I can't figure out how to make a change. Also, usually when I talk about difficult stuff I get emotional, but I've never even had to hold back tears during a conversation.

I feel kind of bad, and this is my first time going to a therapist so I don't have any experience with this. I think I want (and need) a different therapist but I have no idea how to tell him that.

1
RarelyCharlie August 27th, 2019

@Maddie0302 In my experience it is very common for people to try more than one therapist before finding one who can really help. I would say that the therapists I know do not expect to be told when someone wants to switch. You could just cancel your next appointment without giving a reason.

If your therapist chases you and tries to make contact, I would say beware of being manipulated into going back to him. That kind of abuse is rare, but it does happen. If you feel you owe him an explanation, then it would be enough to say exactly what you have said here in the forum.

I once knew (in real life) a therapist who sounds a little like yours. She was great at listening and giving good advice, but she was useless at promoting real change. In fact I still know her but she gave up therapy and went into another line of business.

I notice you don't say exactly how long "quite a while" is, but you have posted in a depression forum , and a capable therapist using the best methods should be able to treat simple depression in several weeks, or a few months for more complex cases. I hope your next therapist is a great match and very skilled!

If you'd ever like to chat about these things, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me.

Charlie