Getting Unstuck and Changing
Hi this is in a way my first time using cups. I’ve been a member since late December but besides talking to a listener I’ve never used cups before. So sorry in advance if I’m doing something wrong. But I’ve just wanted to know some advice or help or something on getting unstuck. I have really bad issues with self worth and judgment. I would like to know some tips on getting up and changing. I know what I have to do but I feel too bad mentally to change. I feel like to change my actions I have to change my mental state, but to change my mental state I have to change my actions. So I find myself in a constant loop of being unhappy and rotting at home doing nothing. If anyone could give some advice or guidance I would be very appreciative. Also sorry if that’s a bit long. Thank you either way and good luck with everyone.
@Hilltop9394 hi I'm lola ❤ well done for reaching out here on the forums. Perhaps you need a little bit of confidence and motivation. Our motivation and accountability forum threads might help you there. And perhaps by making friends here in the forums, or group chats will help you to find confidence. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ good luck with everything sweetie ❤
Hi, I can relate to the feeling of wanting to be "unstuck". I ended up making small changes at a time until I gradually made bigger changes. It becomes easier overtime. For example, I quit smoking MJ, vaping, and drinking alcohol or over 160+ (I have relapsed before, but continued to quit after), and I have spent time playing the guitar at least 10mins a day and reading daily. I recommend writing down your list of goals, and try using the S.M.A.R.T goals method.
Here are my SMART goals for example below (NOTE: I need to update them a bit, since it's old, but it's an example on how to write SMART goals).
SMART goals for the year:
:: Vices ::
Specific - Quitting Alcohol & (Smoking) Marijuana
Measurable - Will be using a habit tracker app along with an agenda/planner.
Achievable - I have already quit alcohol and smoking marijuana since the new year, so I know I can do it. When I have an sort of urge, for the moment, I drink water instead or coffee (was going to give up caffeine, but for the moment, will not do that until I deal with these two vices first).
Relevant - I don't want to waste money on these vices, plus smoking and drinking alcohol is not good for my health.
Timebound - For the alcohol, going to see if I can go an entire year without it. For the weed, I will try to detox for 3-months and see how I feel after. I don't plan on smoking it, but may go back to edibles.
:: Health ::
Specific - Planning on eating in 4x out of the week to become more healthy.
Measurable - I like to take pictures of the meals I make for memories to see what recipes I have already done or revamped. I may also just use the agenda/planner as well for this.
Achievable - I have been cooking these past few days, so I know I can do it! Even when I'm suffering from chronic pain, I have decided to get meals that require less prep time (ex. scrambled eggs, chilaquiles, etc) so I can make a quick meal. Sometimes, it could be as simple as eating fruit or making extra and having leftovers to eat.
Relevant - I'm trying to turn my life around and eating healthier instead of eating processed foods. Eating junk food ultimately makes me feel bad...So, want to eat healthier while also saving money to go towards bigger goals.
Timebound - I heard it takes 3-months/90 days to build a habit, so I will do that.
I wish you luck and hope your journey goes smoothly! 🍀✨