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weird kind of loneliness… insecurity

CherryBlossoms246 December 16th, 2022

I have a lot of friends whom i love very much. Even people i’ve just met i have good interactions with. But bc of my depression, i feel like i don’t deserve any of them. I think, “Really? Me? You want to talk to me?” Don’t they know that I’m a *** downer? Don’t they know how much of a mess i am? They should leave me. I don’t think i’d hurt anyone, but it just feels wrong to pretend to be a normal person. Feels like i’m tricking them

5
toughTiger6481 December 16th, 2022

@CherryBlossoms246

in reality who isn't ?

i mean i am nice to others and say the socially acceptable things even if you would like to say something more truthful .... we all play the game and seldom...... and i mean very seldom .......does another see a person out of being on stage... and playing the part.......it is all around us ....... perhaps some feel unworthy of friendships or interest....... when others may feel they should be getting much more then they do........i used to believe the only person you cannot fake it or lie to is yourself ... until i met some delusional people that proven that theory wrong..... as long as you are fine playing a part and interacting like that .... then do it ...........when it becomes too much or a burden put down the mask and be who you are.


courteousMaple1363 December 16th, 2022

I understand such a feeling too. It’s hard really. It make me disconnected with others deeply. But I think you are good enough here as I know at this moment. Have a good day.

bestVase7265 December 17th, 2022

We have all got voices like that in our heads. I try to remind myself that if I say that about my friends I am doing more than just putting myself down. I am actually putting my friends down too by presuming that they don't know what they want in a friend. @CherryBlossoms246

2 replies
CherryBlossoms246 OP December 17th, 2022

That’s a good way to think about it! Thank you

1 reply
bestVase7265 December 18th, 2022

Sending some peace your way today. @CherryBlossoms246

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