hi

This is excatly how I feel most of the time to. I'm glad I'm not alone in this I always felt like I was alone when you are surrounded by people but you like you said soon as you stop laughing you feel like you shouldn't be there. Its hard to deal with that. And some people don't understand that.

hi, i think i get what you’re saying.. i feel like that too. for me think it’s because i’m very isolated and have problems expressing my feelings. i don’t really have much experience sharing personal things and what’s actually going through my mind with other people, and i think that’s why i feel so alone. because i feel like no one understands me, and the things i truly feel and care about are all kept to myself. i feel like its a lack of connection, personal connection. i’m trying to open up but it’s hard, i only have a few people to talk to and the act of opening up and talking about these things is really hard for me. i hope it gets better for you, and hope you make more personal connections with people

I absolutely agree with this I'm the exact same way when others talk about how there feeling. I just can't bring myself to also open up I don't like feeling vulnerable I want people to believe I'm strong and don't need anyone to rely on but then it just gets build up and its hard to not end up blowing up sometimes. You are definitely not alone in this. There is others who are scared to open up and tell people how they are feeling. I hope things get better for you. Alot of people hold in there feelings because they are afraid too open up. But you are definitely not alone in this.

yeah, i don’t like talking about my feelings not even to my sister or my closest friends

Ya I don't blame you it makes you really scary to talk to people even to loved ones it does make it very difficult to communicate with people. Atleast being able to talk to others makes it a bit easier and they don't know which sometimes help cause they won't ever judge you.

i’ve been more open to my mum recently about me being anxious with school work and i’ve just been spending more time with her generally

That's great you been talking with your mom more a mother is always there for you whenever you need anything. They are there to support you and help you through whatever you are going through.

i’m just glad she’s there

That is awesome that you have your mom that's great to hear :)