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I feel so alone right now after this comment

SolarRae January 31st, 2022

Ive Been having worsening depression lately because it’s winter and I live in New England USA, which is really not a great place to live when winter activates your depression so much. I mentioned that to my boyfriend and said I wanted to move someday. My boyfriend just said that we’re not going to up and move because I decide we should. And that I just need to get over it, all depression is the same and I just need to choose not to have it anymore, that he’s dealt with depression before and chose to not have it anymore. He said I just label everything as a diagnosis and then take it on as an identity. I’ve been in treatment for depression over 20 years now, I know you can’t just get over it. I don’t know how to deal with the overwhelming feelings of invalidation, anger, being dismissed and lonely that his comments make me feel. He’s so incredibly ignorant and has not desire to understand and be supportive. I’m not really sure if I should stay with someone who would say that. Ahh I need some help here

2
halcyonCloud2036 February 1st, 2022

@SolarRae

I am so sorry that your bf responded that way. I agree with you completely, his response would make me feel invalidated and dismissed too.

You did a great job here in expressing how he made you feel and maybe that is exactly how to explain it to him. Clearly, a little empathy would go a long way in making you feel that he heard and understands how you are feeling. Sometimes, I think people are quick to judge and slow to empathize. Let him know what you need and how you feel that reactions such at this one impacts your overall relationship. It is important to advocate for yourself and let him know how you feel ❤️

Littlevoice91 February 1st, 2022

I also live in New England and have worsening symptoms in winter. It’s true that weather can affect mood even if you don’t have SAD.


im sorry you feel alone, but know it’s not just you. I dream of moving to Florida. I know I’ll still be sad but at least I won’t have to battle the elements. You can get over sadness but not depression. Some people unfortunately do not understand the two are different. Hope things work out in your relationship.