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Doing laundry makes me emotional

cocoafp191 October 9th, 2023

I just took my sheets out of the dryer, folded them, and put them away, and now I feel like crying. Freshly dried sheets feel warm, and that warmth comforts me. But it also reminds me of the warmth I'm not getting from other people, and it hurts. I've been lonely for longer than I should be and it's slowly starting to eat at me. I wonder if it'll always feel like this. Do things get better? Will I ever know?

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bestVase7265 October 10th, 2023

They can definitely get better. The journey is different for each person though. What kinds of warmth are you looking for right now?@cocoafp191

1 reply
cocoafp191 OP October 10th, 2023

@bestVase7265

I'm mainly looking for friendship, which has been hard to find due to the fact that the college I'm currently at is so large. It feels like all of my attempts to connect with the community around me go in vain, and I can't find what I'm looking for. I have joined some clubs that pertain to my interests, but I wouldn't say I have friends there just yet. I'm honestly a bit disappointed in myself for living much of my life at school alone despite having been in college for almost two years.

I think part of the problem is that I view friendship as more of a close, personal connection than other people do, and in results in me feeling unsatisfied with seemingly superficial connections that others accept. I also have social anxiety, which makes me dread and/or avoid social events and interactions; this doesn't really help either. I recently started therapy, so hopefully things start looking up.

1 reply
bestVase7265 October 11th, 2023

Don't be disappointed in yourself. College friendships can be really hard, especially at a larger school. I think that the therapy might help a lot.

But you are doing good things in trying clubs. Some of them may work over time. You can also try classes. Don't look for big friend groups. Start observing around you. Look for people who look a little disconnected. Suggest going out for a quick lunch or something similar. If they say no, presume they were just too shy or not in the right place and try again with someone else.

Above all know that they are tons of people in your shoes on your campus. You just have to find the right ones to connect with.@cocoafp191

1 reply
cocoafp191 OP October 11th, 2023

@bestVase7265

Thanks for the helpful comments; I hope I can be patient and give myself grace when it comes to finding friends here. Good things always take time :)

1 reply
bestVase7265 October 12th, 2023

Those grace and patience parts are the really hard ones! But you can do it.

You might also considering doing a little volunteering somewhere. Sometimes working on a joint project makes conversation easier. And helping others helps you. So that is a solid bonus.@cocoafp191

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matchaLover89 October 10th, 2023

@cocoafp191 Hi, I'm Celine :) Life can be unpredictable, and sometimes, connections are found in the most unexpected places. Hold onto hope and consider taking small steps toward building connections. Even though it might be challenging, consider joining clubs, classes, or online communities related to your interests. Meeting people who share your passions can lead to meaningful connections. Also, talking to a mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies and a supportive space to express your feelings.

1 reply
cocoafp191 OP October 10th, 2023

@matchaLover89

I have joined some clubs, and I'm hoping I'll find friends there. I also started therapy last month to try and find ways to mitigate my loneliness. I'm trying to be an optimist about this, but it just gets harder with every day that passes.

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