what's the point?
IDK and i shouldn't be posting this, i dont like "airing my dirt laundry" for anyone on the internet to see. and every time i feel depressed i just dont think i should be? like i have a pretty good life, better than most, but i still get this urge and weight telling me none of it's worth this.
the other day my dad was complaining about this lady at work who took like a month off for sick leave because she was diagnosed with depression, and i was like "that's okay though, it makes sense..." and he was like "these people with 'depression' or whatever are just week- everyone else works hard and sticks it out, they're just stupid." like i could feel my gut wrenching, i've wanted to talk about it and get help for so long but its impossible for me.
Sometimes i have fantasies about dieing, like if i got hit by a car, or if i just fell asleep and never woke up again, i would be okay with it. Like when i was reading If I Stay, (spoiler allert) i couldn't understand why she chose to stay??? i wish i could go, i wish i could just stop everything... do anti depressants even work?? i dont think they'd help anyway, ugh just tell me it's okay to kill myself.
like maybe if i do it in a way that nobody would find my body it'll be okay? i just cant deal with all this stress anymore, i want to change, i want to live my life the way want but it's impossible...
sorry for wasting your time
Your not wasting my time
Baldwin, i believe anti-depressants help. It is not ok to kill yourself. You are worth more than that. And there is no way to kill yourself they will find your body. Please stay safe.
Hello there.
To start off,
you know those "you gotta be there to believe it" situations?
Depression is like that. People who don't have it often play it down and dismiss it as nonsense and weak will. And you can't really blame them either because (as we've established) a person only knows how much depression sucks if they suffer from it and a non-depressed person will never know how it feels. "you gotta be it to feel it" so to speak.
Maybe you feel like this now because as you say, they are fantasies. And we all know that fantasy is far removed from reality. No matter how suckish it might seem now, there is always room for improvement. The depression being a condition of the mind as it is, clouds our judgement. Complicating things, blinding us to solutions, making things generally difficult. You just gotta sit down, and really sift through your brain. Odds are you'll find something worthwhile you want and are (actually) able to do.
Also, I agree with you in regards to "revenge your ex guy" post guy. What the heck? haha
