stuck
I'm stuck and i know theres nowhere to go anymore. I'm 19 and i still share a room with two sisters, i live in a place so remote i take a 3 hour bus ride to a college for a course i hate. I have no way to get a job like this, I dont know what I'm going to do when i finish this year. I have no way to move out, i had to help my parents pay to mortgage, its impossible to pay for the crazy prices on rent.
I get so depressed about this i cry myself to sleep most nights... I can just see everyone moving on, my friends all getting boyfriends and moving out, and im stuck here. What do i do? There's nothing... I've already tried killing myself, but it didn't work... i know its stupid of me to post this, my parents dont even listen to me or believe im depressed.
Wow. I don't blame you for the way you are feeling. I'm sure it is little consolation, but at least, you do have the Internet so it's sort of a way to communicate.
You should try to remember that of all the people you know, you are the one most deserving of your patience, love, and compassion. Is there any way you can 'order' the stuff you have to deal with and only look at one thing at a time? Looking at everything at once can be overwhelming. You mentioned that you are taking a course in college. You may want to consider seeing if they offer any type of assistance that you can take advantage of, as far as jobs or even just someone to talk with.
I am glad I came across your post. I hope to read more from you. Is there anything you do that helps? I have always been a big reader & writer. How about music? I'm an old fart, but I have pretty wide range of tastes from Laurie Anderson to Counting Crows to Tom Waits.
I hope you continue to find the strength that you need.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can relate to seeing everyone living these picture perfect lives. It helps to know it's a facade. What they tell you & post on fb isn't the whole story. Everyone has hidden struggles. You are absolutely not alone. You mentioned you're in college. Maybe you can go to events & get involved in student orgs. It's a chill way to meet people & have fun & it'll give you a chance to get out of the house more.