just need to get this off my chest
I'm not sure if this is in the right category, but please bare with me. when I was in high school (im 23 now) I developed pretty intense anxiety which eventually lead to "depression" (never officially diagnosed, but I was emotionally unstable) once I graduated, things improved a bit but I still needed some assistance. I was then put on medication for about three years but I'm no longer taking it. during college, I still struggled with anxiety and although my mood improved from high school, I still didn't feel happy or satisfied with myself or my life. I graduated college in May, which brings me to now. I'm basically at a point where, more than anything, I'm confused. it's almost as if I can't identify how I feel. I wake up and I don't necessarily feel happy, but I don't know that I'm sad. I kinda just feel like I exist and that's about it. I also have this consistent thought of "is this as happy as I'll ever be?" for some reason, I feel like I'm supposed to be happy and it's frustrating because I don't think I am. but I'm not sure. I have moments where I feel extremely unhappy and I get emotional, but I don't feel like that every second of the day. but I don't feel happy, so I don't know how I feel? I don't know that this makes any sense to anyone who might read this, but I'm just so confused.