im stuck
hello,
idk what im doing right now and i am really feeling stuck. i feel like now that i do not miss my ex as much (recentish breakup) i dont really know what to do with myself. my college semester is about to end and summer is coming up and i feel like i am going to have nothing going on. i dont really know what to do to be quite honest.
currently all i do is smoke the ganj and nicotine all day and then drink at night to pass the time; however, this is what ive been doing for almost all year and it needs to change somehow. obviously i think cutting the drinking and nicotine is a good start. (the ganj might take some extra time but thats a whole nother story). its weird tho because i feel almost bored if im not drunk or high. its the same with school too, like if im not doing school im bored.
i feel like all my hobbies are just not as fun as what they used to be. like gaming for example, i play csgo almost every day but its almost not even fun because of how much i play. or my butterfly knife is just not fun to use anymore because i know almost all the tricks u can learn. I just dont feel excitement from as much now. everything seems dull in a way but i dont like that i feel that way about stuff i love.
One thing I am pushing for this summer is to make new friends somehow. How I do that, i have no idea. i feel like i need to meet more people because i feel lonely in a way. Even though I am surrounded by people in my life, i just feel so distant. maybe is the fact that no one ever texts me or i am always the one reaching out to hang out, but i feel like i need more people to talk to on a daily basis, male or female.
its just a battle to me that seems pointless. i mean i am a very young person for where i am at in life. i have upcoming success with school, i have friends who care about me, i am good at what i enjoy doing, but it all just feels likes its for nothing (and so often it does lol). i feel like im doing so much right now in my life that is just useless and i feel like im just not moving anywhere. everything is starting to be stale, i want new things in my life but im not sure how to get new things started up if that makes sense. why am i getting so bored of what ive enjoyed my whole life? how do i find fun in my life again?
i want to shake things up really bad, i almost need to in a way before i lose my sanity to monotony. i wake up and almost do the same thing everyday. i wake up mad at myself a lot of those days because i do that same stuff everyday. i need to break the cycle. i just wish i knew how.
-slixy
@slixy Well it sounds like you are going in the right direction. It would definitely help to cut down on the addictions that waste your time and spend it working on a skill that you could take with you the rest of your life. Doing this might also help you clear your head so you can focus more on the future you want to give yourself. I agree you should try to make new friends, college is the best place for this. You're surrounded by like-minded individuals that are all going through the same struggles in life. Be kind to yourself and work at your own pace, one step at a time consistently adds up in the end. Goodluck and i wish you the best. ;)