feel so alone & twisted

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I know from experience just how frustrating it can be to have depression rear its head again after a long period without it. I understand you feeling as though the doctors you've spoken with are minimizing your feelings. I would feel discouraged if I were in your shoes. Is there anything that's helped you cope with these feelings in the past? Coping skills vary from person to person, and I'd love to review options with you to find out what works best in your individual case.

As you're experiencing these feelings regarding self-harm and suicide, I'd like to direct you to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at the following number:1-800-273-8255. Also, if you feel as though there's a possibility that you may harm yourself, I'd urge you to please dial 911 and speak to the emergency operator.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my response. I know exactly how it feels to be in a dark place, and to feel as though others don't fully grasp how serious your feelings are. You're not alone in this, and our listeners are ready to respond to any and all subjects we're able tohelp with.

I dont know how to cope as im the one who helps everyone else out but cant help myself. At the moment i can control thr bad thoughts but i can go from ok to opposite within hours. I play the senario in my head of what and where i would go....ots scary at times. To outside people im the jolly person the inside is totally shattered beyond belief. And i have NO clue why like this

Hey emzy73. I know what you mean, you can't help it and don't know why. One thing you need to remember is that bad thoughts is a part of life, even common people get them and the thoughts never stop coming. Most people ignore or thing nothing of it. People like you and me, however, tend to give too much attention to our problem. Instead try to diligently seek the good in life. One exercise I tried was to write down 3 good things about my day(no matter how small) and did this everyday until I felt good about my life. Next, get rid of all the sad, depression music you have and listen to something upbeat. You can also get a dog/cat, go on vacation, or do something that you always wanted to do but never did. When I was depressed I felt better after quitting my job, now I'm not suggesting you do the same thing, the point I'm trying to make its that you should surround yourself with positive things and separated yourself from stressful, depressing things. Sometimes you have to force yourself to smile until you believe that its real. Look for jokes and friends online, cry from laughter; and write about it so you can relive it over and over again, so it's as if you laughed a hundred times instead of just once. I hope this helps, good luck.

Yeh i do try some of the above. Its so hard at times to keep up with it. i do want to get better so will try anything i can do