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Trust issues

etharislight March 29th, 2022

tw (please watch out for yourselves)

going in the direction of going insane, suicidal thoughts


My partner, the person I trust the most in the entire world, told their sister something which I was definitely not ok with

They didn't do it on purpose and they feel really bad for it now and apologized a million times

But it still leaves me feeling incredibly anxious, scared, vulnerable, seriously uncomfortable, hurt.... really hurt

I don't know if I can trust them anymore, especially because it was about something that I have never entrusted anyone in my entire life with

I'm really lost and scared and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm standing on th edge, about to loose my sanity completely. It's so freaking hard to do life every single day. I am so lost, I don't know what to do. I'm scared. Everything's really overwhelming

4
xiaoleli March 30th, 2022

Hi @etharislight

I don’t believe that trust is something you can force onto yourself. In my experience I think trust is something redeemable but takes time and details to rebuild so if you intend to overcome your trust issues you should talk to your partner. It is definitely hard to overcome the feeling of betrayal even if you know that they didn’t do it on purpose, but I wouldn’t say you should completely lose hope. Other than simply knowing that they feel really bad and are apologizing for it I think it might be necessary for you to walk them through it and clearly express how scared, anxious and lost you feel because of what they said. I will not encourage you to suddenly overcome your trust issue and start trusting other people more immediately, but I think it might be effective if you start handing small entrustments over to the other side. Sometimes it take more than apologize to feel assured again and that is completely fine. Making sure that the other side 100% understand the importance of trust and the impact of this event for you could be crucial and I believe you will see some improvement upon your trust issue.

1 reply
etharislight OP March 30th, 2022

Thank you for your words

I really want to talk it out and explain to them why that hurts as much as it does. I fought so hard for this relationship already I don't want to just give up, even if it's tempting.

I will definitely try entrusting the other side with more, probably with really small things, but that's a really good idea. Like building up trust from small things to bigger ones

Thank you again, your words really helped ~

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Henryhh123 March 30th, 2022

@etharislight

Having trust issues is very normal these days. There are a lot of untrustworthy people, but there are still a larger amount of trustworthy people. That person who was ur partner is not a good person at all. Those people are really few. You can try meeting new people that you feel more comfortable with. I think it would be much better if you try to meet new people. This could also help with your trust issues. I have trust issues too, but I always try to meet new people. I found new friends that I feel more comfortable with which I love. This could really help out with the problem that you are facing.

1 reply
etharislight OP March 30th, 2022

Mhm I can see where you're coming from. In my case it's a bit harder to distinguish. People I trust tend to misuse my trust a lot (having depression and my mind making everything worse than it is does not help), so meeting new people is a really good idea. Especially people that live outside of my normal area of friends. I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Just with my partner I really want to work it out, I love them more than anything in the world and this is the first time something as severe as this has happened. I don't want to give up so easily

Thank you that you took time to respond. It means so much to me

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