Tired and hopeless
Ive been messed up ever since 4th grade, cutting, those thoughts, the fun stuff. Now being a year out of high school, I just dont know what Im doing anymore. My grades were practically all failing because I cant focus on anything. And I was supposed to start college last month but I cant even get myself to get out of my bed. The classic parents telling me Im a failure and a disappointment. Follow that up with being mentally and sexually abused multiple times in my relationships, and now finding out my so has been cheating on me twice. I honestly dont know what to do anymore and I feel so trapped. I have disfigured my lower belly from how much I cut, but I cant get myself to tell anyone close to me about it. I feel dumb because I feel like I can get help but at the same time I feel like I cant. Stupid I know.
Hey there, @Nefer3Lily
First of all, I want to thank you for posting in here and sharing what's on your mind. It's not easy to open up about our struggles, but we are proud of you for reaching out and we are here to support you!
You seem to be dealing with a lot at once and are coping through self harm which is not the healthiest coping mechnism. I understand that it's scary to tell someone about what's going on. Sometimes we are not able to deal with what life throws at us alone, and that's okay! There are peopke who are there to help.
Have you considered reaching out for support to a medical professional to get help with what you are struggling with?
Here are some ressources that you might find helpful in the mean time:
- Depression Support Self Help Guide: https://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/
- Self Harm Self Help Guide: https://www.7cups.com/self-harm/
- Self Harm Subcommunity: https://www.7cups.com/home/selfharm/
We hope you will find the support you deserve. You are never alone here at 7 Cups 
Hi @Nefer3Lily,
It's great you're here.
Once one's low mood and other stuff are managed professionally, it gets better. In mood disorders situation, it's very common to think you want and don't want help at the same time. Would you consider asking someone close (e.g. a friend or a family member) to look for some mental health professional or make an appointment for you?
I've been there and many people in this community have. I mean, I still am. The battle is on, but it does get better.
I really hope you'll feel better very soon.
