Tired & Stressed & Lonely. Trying Not to Give Up
I'm always tired. I can't function if I don't take my Adderall prescription (started over 10 years ago when I was too tired & depressed to function at all).
I spent last weekend alone. I tried to reach out and find someone to connect with, but everybody is busy with their own lives. By Sunday, I felt so alone and depressed that I just wanted to die.
I have a lot of stressors in my life. Divorced with 2 kids. One of my kids has special needs. High-stress work.
My stress and anxiety feed my depression. They also cause other physical symptoms. I'm guessing the tireness is becaue I'm worn out from stress, anxiety, and depression. I also have terrible IBS, which impacts my life in a big way.
I'm getting to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. I'm in therapy. I've done inpatient and outpatient hosptialization.
@MindMood I'm sorry you didn't get replies sooner. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're suffering, and it sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate. Is there any way you can take just an hour or two a week to do something JUST for you? I know that might seem impossible, between childcare and work, but it could save your life. It doesn't have to be anything huge, just some time reading a book at a coffee shop or library; walking in a park; going to a museum or a movie. Life sounds very grey right now, and it's no wonder it feels like a burden. See if you can add some color, "fill the well".
If you could find a caregiver support group, that would be a nice way to build connections with people who "get it", too.
@ThisIs543 Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. Fortunately, I am able to find some time for myself. I like to play video games. I can't binge like I did when I was a kid, but brief gaming sessions make me feel better.
I think I need to find ways to interact with people more often too. I'm at my worst when i spend too much time alone.
@MindMood By the way, are you being really honest with your therapist about the struggle you're having? Sometimes I find myself holding back what I really feel, because I don't want to sound repetitive or... I don't know, be vulnerable? But the times I'm really honest are the times I feel the most relief, and feel like I at least have that connection.
I am so sorry about your situation. I can see that there are so many things happening at the same time. It sounds like you are struggling to cope with everything, which is pretty normal. I just want to tell you that there is hope and perhaps you have not found yet the strategy that can save your life. I agree with @Thisis543. Try to find an activity that is just for yourself (self-care). Something that you really value. Or to make some changes in your daily life, such as waking up early and prepare a nice breakfast, going for a walk, etc. I know it sounds difficult, but just give few steps at the beginning. I know you don't have much energy. That's why taking few steps, will be good, maybe one thing per week and then when you finally see you are feeling better you can add another thing (This is called behavioural activation therapy if you want to read about it). You are not alone, a lot of us here at 7 cups understands what you are going through. And again, I am really sorry, you have been a fighter all these years, keep fighting. Perhaps it will be good to find a listener. If you want to talk with someone, there are always listeners available. I am a listener, so if you want to chat with me at any time. let me know. @MindMood