@a1dot
Have you ever studied how a flower blooms? Not just watched it, but actually raised one with the purpose of watching the flower, learning all of the biology and chemistry going on, understanding exactly how it happens? I have, and let me tell you it's crazy. The flower puts so much energy and resources into producing a bulb that eventually opens into a flower, which once it's pollinated will close up and grow to become the seed for the plant. The plant devotes so much energy into making a flower, some species will die if you remove the flowers, causing the energy to be wasted. Changing the boring branch to have a beautiful flower takes so much time and energy the plant can do little else. The same is true of people. If you want to change, you need to spend a lot of time and energy. Most people don't have the energy needed to change a small part of themselves,but you lasted 5 months doing all you could to change. Don't feel bad that you relapsed, take pride in how much change you've already made in yourself for lasting that long, and now renew your efforts to change for the better. It will take more time and energy then you know, but you can do it if you keep trying.