Sad
2 weekends ago my husband got a concussion at work....last weekend we found out he has a Arteriovascular fistula (artery to vien connection in his skull, not brain thank god) and then last night he had a migraine and completely altered in him mental state- personality change, complete confusion, incredibly anxious and back to the hospital we went.....hes been out of work since the beginning. He cant watch TV, look at him phone much, be in a lot of light, move around much.
Im started working a new job, orientation was this week. No paychecks this week. Son decided to do a leave of absence from college becasue he needs to create a portfolio of work and hes overwhelmed. Bills are behind, car needs breaks. Im calling doctors offices, getting runaround, dealing with Workmens Comp, not qualified for FMLA, so trying ADA to save his job. And needs surgery ASAP....out of work for 1-4 months.
All I do is worry and think and have no one to talk too. I tried talking to two friends and venting but they have stated Im incredibly selfish and that I HAVE TO do this or that no matter what....I have to do everything....Im exhausted, sad, scared, mad, anger, want to runaway....this is the most serious Ive ever wanted to not be me....I cant do this....my brain is nothing but negativity and darkness and I want to hide from everything inside and never come out.
I cant
@coraton THANK YOU for sharing your story.
All I can think to say, given all you've gone through, is to thank you for sharing your strength with everyone, although I'm guessing you don't always feel strong.
What you're going through feels so unfair to me, and I can't even imagine what it's like to be where you are.
Worse, it sounds like your immediate community of people hear what you're going through, but you found a great community who can!
And I think you can. Don't think it's going to be easy. But I think you can!
I'm not online very often but if you happen to see me online, I hope you'll reach out to me! Would love to talk more with you.
@coraton You don't want to be you as all the responsibilities and stresses are overwhleming you from your husband's condition and your son's choices to the piling bills. And this isn't easy, I don't expect anyone in this situation to be calm and joyful. It's okay to be sad and want to hide away from these responsibilities, but know you are not alone. We all feel overwhlemed in our lives at times from unexpected deaths in the family, loss of jobs, heartbreak, conflict with family or friends, and so many more. But even so, we have made it and you will too. While we cannot magically solve your problems, we are here to support you becuase we all know how hard it is to feel alone and frustrated in these situations. So if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here and so many others as well. But also, remember to be kind to yourself...you are doing so much from starting a new job and taking care of your husband which is admirable. You deserve your own care and love as well which is easier said than done but a worthy cause to dedicate time towards.