SUICIDE- NOT the easy way out, to them it seems the ONLY way out
Yes, it should be talked about and understood, NOT to make it OK, but to maybe help save that one tortured soul who would've potentially reached out, but then held back when the thought was still at it's infancy stages, due to the shame associated with it.
It's easy to judge and say it was the easy way out and it was a selfish, cowardly act. It's NOT the easy way out, but to that person at that very moment, it feels like the ONLY way out, the only way to make the pain stop, that searing mental pain, like being stabbed with a knife that keeps twisting and twisting without any end in sight.
If suicide is selfish because that person didn't think about the hurt it would cause to their loved ones, isn't it just as selfish for one to want THEIR loved one, who's life sems to be nothing but constant pain, to remain alive just for their sake?
Once again, this is not to promote it, but to understand it. Understanding it may prevent it from ever happening before the thought matures to that stage in a person's mind in which they've already decided to do it.
Here's a quote I like about the mindset of one contemplating suicide, the analogy is spot on....
The so-called ‘psychotically depressed person who tries to kill herself doesnt do so out of quote ‘hopelessness or any abstract conviction that lifes assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fires flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. Its not desiring the fall; its terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Dont! and ‘Hang on!, can understand the jump. Not really. Youd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.
-David Foster Wallace
Good post, I suffer both physical and mental pain.
Too many people don't take the mental pain seriously as it can't be seen or understood, therefore it is judged as invalid.
Brian
All that you've said in the post is true for a certain extent. It's okay if someone decides to take the extreme step if there is no way out of their hardship. But not all suicides happen because it's the only way out. Relatives of people who attempt or commit suicide often blame themselves or become very angry. They may see the suicide attempt as selfish. However, people who try to commit suicide often mistakenly believe that they are doing their friends and relatives a favor by taking themselves out of the world.
Suicide may be the easy way out for some, while the ONLY way out for others. And about the quote: No person will be born in that situation. One of the major cause of suicide is Untreated Depression. It's not all of a sudden that a person thinks about Suicide. And the fire rises at a very slow pace in the actual world. At least one must hope that things will get better, the fire is going to fade, or someone will come out to help rather than falling on to death straight away.
My point was, at that very moment, it SEEMS like the only way out, that's why the topic in my post was "TO THEM, it's the only way out". Of course it's not in reality the only way out, but in that very moment, once they decide, they've reached the irrational conclusion, due to the distortion of thoughts caused by depression, that that's the only option they have. I definitely disagree, and respectfully of course, that suicide is ever an easy way out for anyone. Agony and anguish has led to that decision being made, nothing even remotely easy about it.
Yes, definitely it's due to untreated depression, that goes without saying, and the hopelessness and agony has to build up to a point where those thoughts start dominating the mind. The quote doesn't say anyone's born into it...."the invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level" implies it builds up.
It's sad that one would think they're doing their friends and family a favor. There are others who do it just because the pain endless torture. That's why this topic shouldn't be shunned from being discussed in the world, it's hard enough for those going through depression to be shunned due to the stigma. All in all, I do hope more people start becoming aware, understanding, and compassionate of this very real mental affliction.
Thanks for the vote and the input!
Is shame an ethical method of suicide deterrence?
One thing I've seen around is the "suicide doesn't just hurt yourself, it also hurts your loved ones" suicide prevention ads. I can how it can be effective - it can make the individual see suicide in a negative like, which acts as a deterrent.
My concern is the one you raised bob - doesn't this start to blame the victim? Is it okay to make someone feel like suicide is selfish? Sure it might stop them from acting, but at what costs? They'll feel more trapped, and still have no answer to their problems :\
Here is a guide that says to not use this method (in the do not section) however, I see a lot of suicide prevention ads, especially teen ones, that continue to use this technique.
Thank you for your response, and you bring up a great point, the exact one I've been trying to get across to many people. I whole heartedly agree with you @AdVictoriam. It incises me and makes me livid beyond belief that such a technique is used as a suicide deterrent. Actually, I don't even think shame and guilt will stop them from acting, I just think it will make them hide it that much more until they're at that point where they're pretty determined to carry out the act. That's the awareness I'm trying to instill in those who simply write off the suicidally afflicted as selfish. Sadly, I think that opinion is rampant in our society, and people need to reassess the way they think. The end goal here is to decrease the suicide rate, and you hit the nail on the head, such an approach will make them feel even more trapped and probably even more likey to do it.