Relationship troubles
OK. This is going to be a trip. Let me preface this by saying that Im not without fault. Relationships are a two way street. You give and you receive. I know this. I also know Im not the most communicative person in my relationship. I hold things back. I know this and I dont know why.
So. Thats the question of the day. I love my husband. We have our ups and our downs. Hes a good person. He doesnt gamble or drink excessively he doesnt place unrealistic expectations in our relationship. Hes not perfect, but no one is. He doesnt cheat. He is smart. He wants to know how he can help me.
the question is. Why cant I talk to him? Every time he says something I know is true. Im like no. I dont think I will do that. Why do I keep on refusing to explain myself? Why do I refuse to say my mom was divorced twice. We needed to start over twice and while I dont think or want us to divorce it makes me feel safer to have a stash of money in a different account or maybe Im too lazy to close the account. Or maybe I like the idea of him not knowing what Im spending money on. To make it clear he doesnt control my spending. I have a good job. I have full and complete independence. He has never been abusive he has never limited anything I say or do. He has voiced his feelings about our relationship and he is concerned that I dont talk to him. I know this should be in the relationship section but I feel connected the depression community.
@LightBlueStar Hello, welcome to Depression Support Community! I am glad that you have reached out to here. I totally agree with you that relationship is like a bridge which has equal importance from the both side, do you feel you want to work on the betterment of the relationship? Also does he know about your feeling on this yet?
@CommunityModAlex
So I read your post 2 days ago. It would have been so easy to fire back with "Of course! I want to work on the betterment of my relationship!" I needed to stop and really think about what that means. That means being vulnerable. That means confrontation. Conflict. While I do want to work on my relationship, I'm not in a good mental place for confrontation. I'm down on myself as it is.
And to answer your other question. Does he know about my feelings? I don't think so. I keep what I'm feeling to myself. Which is part of the problem.
Thank you for your response. It's much appreciated. I need to work on my communication skills and that will improve our relationship. I was in a really bad head space when I made the initial post. I haven't fully recovered yet, but I'm getting better.