Please help need to cope the cat I wanted was adopted and I can't stop crying
i've always wanted a cat and for the past few months my parents have been talking about getting a cat and showing me and my brothers pictures so on thursday we went to go see one and he was everything we wanted in a cat and he was just a tiny kitten but my brothers put up so much opposition and were huge pains about it and kept telling us it will turn out badly and we're rushing into it so on saturday my mom and i went to go adopt him and we found out he had been adopted just that morning
so im heartbroken and i cant stop crying and it just does not help that it feels like everyone's moved on from it today and they keep saying it just wasn't meant to be and we'll get another cat and my brothers dont feel bad at all and they dont even seem to realize that a big part of why im so upset is because of them
and i just dont feel ready at all and the worst part of all of it is that afterwards my mom and i went to a different shelter just to look at other cats and play with them and there were some that were really sweet and friendly and now on thursday we're going to go look at them again and adopt one and i am not ready at all right now, i feel like i'm being forced to get over it and pull myself together by thursday instead of getting time to be upset
and i just dont want to get out of bed at all and i cant stop crying but they want me to go outside and rake leaves and all i want is to go sit outside with our chickens but if i go outside they'll expect me to start doing yard work
and they just keep telling me why it's actually working out better because we have more time to set everything up and the cats we're looking at are older and their personalities are more developed and they wont get into mischief but it just feels like my brothers point was proven and that they did nothing wrong and have nothing to feel sorry for and it feels like they just want me to stop being upset and they keep telling me that next weekend i'll have a cat to snuggle with and that it'll be fixed and i just want to be upset but i have to help outside and go to church today and i dont even know if this is reasonable, im 21 years old and heartbroken over a cat that wasnt even mine but i wanted a cat so badly and i was so excited and i even asked my parents if this was a sure thing because i didnt want to get my hopes up and then it turns out badly, but they were sure and we were going to go not to look but to actually adopt so it was so close
and i just have no idea how to cope please help how do i get over this by thursday
i do apologize if i sound unreasonable and resentful im just so heartbroken right now and i just am freaking out because i dont want to adopt a cat and then still be heartbroken and be unable to give it the love it deserves
@LostinTranslation90 - I have had a few cats in my time, and I have personally found that the older cats that you adopt from the shelters, at least in my case, have always been the best cats. I have two cats right now: one a senior female and one a young male. Both came from the shelter (at different times), and both are the sweetest cats ever. With my female, she can sense when I am feeling down and she will just come right up to me and sit on my lap. You could pet her for hours. She's just so sweet. She also sleeps with me every night. The male doesn't like to be held like the female does, but he loves to be petted.
Many people appear to only want to adopt kittens, so older cats are frequently overlooked and, sadly, many of them are put down each year because of that. With kittens, you honestly don't know their personalities yet, whereas with older cats, you can easily observe their behavior before you adopt them. Growing up, I had kittens that turned out to be mean and some were even messy as they got older. I don't recall ever having any of those issues with any older cats that I have adopted. Kittens are pretty energetic, so they get into everything. Sometimes they will run off and hide somewhere, and when they hide, sometimes they make messes. Older cats are more calm, and they are usually experts at using the litterbox properly. Sadly, a lot of kittens are returned to the shelter once they pass that cute, fluffy ball stage because their true personalities start to show and they are no longer wanted.
Hopefully, all of this information will help you not feel so sad about adopting a cat from the shelter instead of a kitten.
@L1ly0ftheValley thank you i really appreciate this! and i apologize, i didn't intend to come off as being upset about getting an older cat and not a kitten, im really just more upset that the cat i wanted is gone after so all this opposition from my brothers, and i dont really have a whole lot of time to be upset over it before we get another cat, it kind of feels like a rebound you know? like instead of letting me be upset my family is just like, we'll get another cat, we're going to fix it, don't dwell on it, and i dont really have time to be upset, and i just can't help but dwell on it, and they've all just moved on so quickly
i just feel rushed to get over this if that makes sense? i just want to give the cat we do end up getting love and attention but im so upset i dont know if i'll be ready by thursday
@LostinTranslation90
I do not see anything unreasonable in your heartbreak. You fell in love. You pictured your life with that cat. You were in your happy place already with them. And then it was all taken away from you.
Some people live in their head, and anything that can seem like "not that terrible" for others because little time has passed in reality, can be a tragedy for us. Because this cat wasn't a cat. It carried the soul of the cat of your dreams for the past 20 years or more of your life. It feels as if you lost an animal you had for so long, because your nurtured the idea of them for so long.
It isn't deception for you, it is mourning. I am so sorry that your family doesn't seem to understand. Did you try explaining it to them? How does it feel to you? I am not saying that unaware that it is likely that even if you tried they wouldn't get it, I just hope that you are more lucky than I am and they might.
I could have met the love of my life one second ago, if my heart is convinced that it is him - the other part of my soul - I love that person with all the love I have accumulated for this evasive person during every year of my existence. They would have no idea how they could break me in such a short time, unless they were like me, and had already imagined me for a lifetime.
Hope I got where you're coming from and that it helps a little to feel understood ❤️
