No. I have deep ups and downs

Finally took a bath today. It'd been like 2 weeks. I don't know why I do this. I'm on so much medication, but I can't control the waves of severe depression that come and knock me into a place where I can't see everything around me, I'm just not completely here. I'm more than half in a dark place. It's lasted for a month +, sometimes it's a couple days. The feelings are difficult to explain, even my skin is mostly numb, cause I'm not here.

Can anyone relate? Please, I need real advice, not hearing your sorry I am this way. I am on phenobarbital, to çontrol seizures, duloxotine, haloperidol, a mild anti-psychotic, and blood pressure pills, I don't know if asking the Dr. to add more meds is the solution? To cut back on the meds I have? Through the doc cause I lack perspective to adjust my own meds. Loosing weeks at a time are causing relationship problems, I'm applying for disability, and have had a lot of problems, at times I just can't deal with it, and miss deadlines, don't get things done. My memory, my mind, seems to be rapidly deteriorating? Does anybody know what I'm talking about?